These chapters

Fly FM PRC

2011-12-15T03:01:00.000-08:00

OKAY. so now it has been AGES since i updated my blog. Sorry guys, blogging ermmm kinda went out somewhere for me. FB and Twitter will be my first choice. the only reason i'm updating my blog is to share with you guys that---- jeng3......... I'll be on air @FLY FM PRC next Tuesday 9am in the morning. So don't forget to tune in okay?

So let me tell you how the story went. Well yesterday I submit my entry on FlyFM website hoping that maybe the chances of getting it was like 1 in a million. so i didn't put much hope on it. And then this morning i got a call from an unknown caller..picked up and...

Nadia: ' Hi, can i speak to Ainu Shazwani?'
Me: "Yes speaking."

at first i thought it was an agent from godknowswho agency but then..

N:" Hi this is NADIA FROM FLYFM"
M:"OMG come again?"
N:"You submitted an entry for FLMFM new year's wish right?"
N:" Well guess what, your dream is about to come true! you are going to spend your morning here with flyfm ON AIR!"

After this part I went nuts and started shaking. And the rest was whaaaaatt?*yelling and *yelling in shock and total excitement.

So peeps, don't forget to tune in to FLYFM PRC next tuesday at 9AM ! i'll be there ngeh222

Have you ever see the stars?

2011-06-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

Dreams and hopes

flying across the sky

blinking an eye of joy

soaring above the sea

If I could touch

every single bits

then my dreams and hope

will come true

How you'd wish

when you look upon the stars

shining bright at night

dreaming, hoping

Somewhere, somebody

would stare at the night sky

just like you do.

the BIBIR fever

2011-04-25T01:33:00.000-07:00

lately si pretty boy ni adeee je nyemak kat dada2 surat kabar. dah naik muntah dah aku nak nengok paper sampai FOBIA nak bukak. nyampahh gile tak tau nape laa..sini ade jumpe a few vid khas buat peminat2 bibir.

mari kita gelak sampai jatuh kerusiii!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCNfyyeJjdc&feature=player_embedded

MOS-QU' CIKGU

2011-04-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

lama tak buat entry blog kan kan kan. sebab apa? sebab aku bz sangat mengalahkan PM kite.hahahah. okay,internship hampir2 nak abes..cuma tinggal satu minggu je lagi ni nak merdeka. Good news is aku dan 2 orang lagi rakan aku ditawarkan kontrak oleh Yayasan Felda untuk terus mengajar kat sana..sometimes dah rasa seronok sangat mingle dengan budak2 nih sampai berat ati la nak tinggal tempat tuh. Plus keje die kan best..bos pon best,teman2 sekerja pun tak kurang seronok walaupun sorang2 pangkat mak' ayah' dah.

Seronok tu seronok la sebab kita mengajar..lagi pun memang profession ni dah sebati dalam jiwa aku dari dulu lagi. Next big projek aku akan join untuk melaksanakan idea bernas dari Tan Sri Dr Mohd Yusof Noor- haaa,dia ni la chairman Yayasan Felda merangkap bos besar besar besar dan terbesar aku untuk memajukan tahap penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris in rural area. So nanti aku kena turun padang ke kawasan pedalaman; Skim2 Felda yang duk terperukkkk kat dalam sana untuk aja budak2 dan majukan penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris derang.

Tan Sri sekarang dah naik pangkat lagi -in case korang tak tau dia lah Penasihat PM kita sekarang. So directly Felda ni dibawah pengawasan PM jugak. untuk masa sekarang ni projek tu kitorang cadang nak mulakan pada dasar budak2 UPSR, nak make sure BI dapat score A! Baru2 ni pendaftaran sesi 2 2011 kat centre aku dah pun berjalan dengan lancar. tapi,tapi,tapi.....sayangnya daro 110 orang yang datang cuma 2 ORANG JE DAPAT A DALAM SPM! masyaallah! bayangkan laa.belum lagi masuk derang2 yang gagal tu..bila tanya dari sekolah mana..dia kata AMPANG,BANGSAR,CHERAS...bila tanya result English dapat ape: GAGAL! lerrrr...............................apokono ni..sekolah dah kat bandar..takkan la BI leh fail. siapa yang patut kita salahkan?cikgu tu ke budak tu sendiri?hmmmm...

tadi ade student aku cakap "mis,after we go to the mosque..." nak tau MOSQUE dia sebut cane? MOS-QU laaaa...cek p tny la..awat hang sebut lagutu..ciktu tak pernah ajaq ka sebut betui2? dah 12 tahun duk skolah M-O-S-Q-U-E pun sebut tak betul lagi? *geleng kepala.

tu lah.banyak benda yang aku belajar dari budak2 ni..tu la sebabnya aku suka kerja ni.. walaupun den ni cikgu BI, den rase tak perlulah nak belagak teror sangat English tu sampai cakap ape2 pun kena speeeakking jer. betul kita kena praktik,tapi bertempat lah.

okaylah..buat korang2 sume dalam mencari kerja dah profession yg sesuai.. ni nasihat aku

'if you love what you are doing, you'll be good at it'

sekian,thank you.ecece.

Februari

2011-02-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

tengok la malauun ni.semangat makan.gelojoh bebenor.malu den ;P

Salam para pembaca. dah lame dah tak update belog disebabkan wa bizi dengan kerja aka internship. waa kapla mau picah woo kilija bertimbun2.nak layan kerenah student lagi yg macam2, nak kena buat lesson plan lagi tiap2 hari.ingatkan senang jadik cikgu ni payah gak upenyee. apsal la tak amik fashion design ke chef ke dulu2.kan dah mengeluh sekarang ni..

ape2 pun sekarang ni udah masuk bulan 2.bulan faveret dalam banyak2 bulan sebab bulan ni besday saya.hehe..selama ni bulan 2 banyak tinggalkan kenangan pahit dalam idup..harap2 sangatttt laa bulan ni takde ape2 yg tak baik jadi.T.T

pejam celik sekarang ni dah nak masuk 22 tahun dah.angka pun dah sama,genap dan cantek. tapi jangan suwei suda..ramai tak suka angka 2.2 tu.uhuhu.. nway harap tahun ni dapat grad dengan jayanya,kerja dengan sukses dah hidup bertambah murah dengan rezeki2 halal. buat kawan2 yang tumpang sekali masuk 22 tahun ni,selamat hari jadi n happy birthday wa ucapkan yep! especially buat Azam,Peha,Amad,Capik, dan lain2 yang tak igt nak mention kat sini. besday saya sila wish ye.haha,lol.

tenks to Safwa yang murah hati menyumbat perut2 kami yang sedang kebuluran kat SEOUL GARDEN aritu.tak dapek den nak gambarkan betapa bebesar ati,jantung,limpa dan organ2 dalaman ni. Huaa..!terasa kenikmatan makan bersama teman2 tercinta.Eat,Share and Laugh. cam tagline pizza hut pulak.nanti aku gaji aku belanja kau pulak tau tau tau tau:)

buat yan yang melahap tak ingat dunia time mula2 makan tu,udah2 le dik oi. lemak kau tu dah cukuup tebal dah.disebabkan intenet lambat,pic yan lahap je dapat upload.hehe.

selebihnya ade di pesbook.

Result

2011-01-09T01:04:00.000-08:00

Oh work aka internship dah pun mula dengan selamat. Gembira tahap dewa sebab tempat kerja yang best gila2 dan colleague yang gila2 jugak. Walaupun masing2 dah mencecah umur 'persaraan', tapi mereka2 ni la orang tua yang berjiwa muda yang pernah aku tengok. Bos- the best of them all,sporting, caring,sume adjective yang positif boleh kasi kat dia. Terasa bertuah sangat2 laa. Hooyeeahh! Gumbira sungguh rasanyaa. Walaupun gaji sikit yang tak seberapa untuk practicum ni,dah kira bersyukur depa bayar. Ade sesetengah tempat lagi la free of charge je. Takpe2,3 bulan je..pastu cari kerja gaji lumayan.

Masuk kerja pukul 8 pagi, haha..kenapa dah gelak?sebab kerja macam takda kerja.hihihi...kerja main cityville kat pesbook sampai lebam.cityville lagi..kalau bosan p download games,tak pun tengok movie. Bos relex je..dia yang suruh buat mende2 tu suma first 2 weeks ni. tenkiu bos u r the best!

Rehat pukul 1230-200. lama tak?hua3...sebab lecturer,jadi freedom untuk ke sana sini amatlah terbuka luas. buat je ape kau nak..serooonokk betull laaaa! Balik kerja pukul 5 officially,tapi bos balik pukul 4 awal sikit takut jem. Bos katekan,sape nak lawan..huhu. tepat jam 4.45 petang suma akan pack siap barang2,ready to go home. hantar wakil sorang untuk punch card dan semua balik rumah. Bestnya hidup camni. Kerja tak stress langsung,seronok pulak tu.

Result dah kelua. angan2 tinggi nak dapek 4.0 sem ni tapi nampaknya terkubur hancur lebur berkecai harapan tu. nak salahkan siapa eh,lecturer tu la.memang kedekuit+dengki kot.ehehh.tak2 sebenarnya salah diri sendiri..terima la hakikatnya,sob..sob..

Overall memuaskan la. tapi tak cukup puas lagi sebab tak dapat nak score 4.0. DEMMIT!

Syukur la dapat 3.74 kan. yelah2,syukur sangat2.(tapi....4.0?)

tak pernah lagi setakat ni result ade C.kali ni dapat C. keciwa betul laa.haishh..

Ade 2 sem lagi untuk merialisasikan impian tu.Gambatte!

Sepanjang minggu ini

2010-12-30T06:45:00.000-08:00

tinggal cuma sehari lagi je nak masuk tahun baru,yeay~! all in all tahun 2010 ni banyak sangat kenangan manis dan pahit yang tak dapat dilupakan and one of the most challenging year in my life so far. tapi yang paling bestnya banyak kenangan manis daripada yang payau2 tu.

okay kawan-kawan,minggu ni enjoying golden moments before masuk ke alam pekerjaan yang akan bermula tahun depan. isnin ni will be my first day,proudly calling my self as a Lecturer,(ehem2 poyo skit) mula masuk ke actual kelas dan apa lagi....menghuru-harakan dunia anak2 murid dengan cara yang betul ye.

so far minggu ni telah diisi dengan aktiviti yang membosankan,makan dan tido la.ape lagi equation yang paling lame sekali kan3.selain dari tu,tempat2 yang dah jadi kunjungan termasuk lah tasik kepong where enchek kerek @ wahizan telah memecahkan rekod peribadi stelah dipaksa oleh bini dia utk berjemur macam ikan kering kat sana. apa lagi,posing ala2 cam ade kat Pulau Pangkor padahal sebelah Pinggiran je,puii.

oh okey2.kucing kesayangan den yang diberi nama Browny telah melahirkan lebih dari 4 eko anak,tapi yang terselamat dari dibuang tinggal 2 eko je..setelah kitorang buat pertandingan siapa pandai tangkat lipas,cuma 2 eko ni je yang layak ke pusingan akhir.selebihnya,wallahualam abah campak katne. diperkenalkan tadaaaaa. Hensem dan Snowfeet!

snowfeet dan ensem(hensem tak?)

lastly,tadi ke Old Town sri gombak hang out dgn Jime and my sista.

baiklah.mood mengantuk dah sampai!tidooooooooo time!

Etika memandu

2010-12-21T01:42:00.000-08:00

Hari ini sangat la panas suam2,sebab pagi tadi sejuk je sebab lepas hujan dan petang ni pulak bahang panas terasa. Pagi tadi aku dikejutkan dengan dengungan pekik dari mama yang suruh aku bangun cepat dan teman dia pergi Meru,which is somewhere dekat Puncak Alam untuk teman dia hangout dan jumpa member lama dia. So dengan berat hatinya, aku terpaksa meninggalkan bantal,selimut dan katil yang empuk tu..uuhhuu.

Okay, so perjalanan ke Meru bermula. Sampai sana shopping tak ingat punya.Ehem,bukan shopping macam pegi dekat mall tu tapi shopping barang kampung. Mama dengan happynye beli nenas,pisang,ubi kayu, dan segala macam makanan yang susah nak jumpa dekat bandar ni. Tak ketinggalan aku pun nyibuk sama,hehe. Tujuan post topik pasal Driving ni sebab diri sendiri akan rasa chuaaakk kalo naik kereta dengan mama.Why?tak taulah,tapi tak suka cara mama bawak kereta. Kalau ada orang call je die akan jawab panggilan tu. Dah terang2la kan takkan dapat focus,satu tangan pegang stereng, sebelah lagi duk sebukk pegang handphone tu. Wa talak situju sama sekali kelana ini alalah aksi yang mebahaya sekali dan membahayakan pemandu2 lain. Yelah,diri sendiri pun driver jugak kan,so tau la cane rasenye bile kereta depan bawak cam *(*&^% je kan. Rase nak hempuk je diorang tu.(tapi dalam kes ni mama takdela kena hempuk)

Jadi buat korang2 semua yang bergelar pemandu,sama ada mempunyai lesen tapi tidak tahu memandu(ehem2),ataupun memandu tapi tidak mempunyai lesen(ehem3),diharapkan anda semua dapat bertimbang rasa sewaktu berada di jalan raya. Pikior2 lah sekali orang lain,jalan tuu bukan ekau sorang yang punyo.

Okay,jadi ni etika memandu yang aku CUBA praktikkan selalu and some do's and don't s:

JANGAN SESEKALI TEXTING/CALLING WHILE DRIVING!-sebab apa? benda ni adalah salah satu penyebab terbesar kemalangan/kematian di jalan raya. Hari tu time tengok Oprah show, satu kes ni this poor guy lost his beloved wife and child sebab driver tu texting while driving. Macam (*^%%$ je kan sebab dia? So kalau tanak benda ni happen kat korang, jangan sesekali buat.
Pernah tak korang buat excersice jari? senang je kan..tapi tak tau la apsal Malaysian ni agak pemalas untuk FLICK A SWITCH!payah sangat ke nak gerakkan satu inci je untuk gerakkan button signal tu?mana la orang nak tau kau nak ke kiri ke,ke kanan ke..kat cermin kereta tu bukan ada whiteboard ke sign ke tulis 'saya nak ke kiri',bahlol. Sebelum anda di hon oleh pemandu lain,rajin2kan lah diri tu bagi signal ketika membelok. Tak susah,kalau malas gak buat,takyah bawak kete..bawak kapal terbang terus je. Esp kereta2 besar,kebarangkalian untuk dorang buat benda ni memang tinggi. Tau la kereta besar,tapi takkan laa otak korang kecik..ish3..bajet dia taiko laa..arr meh sini kita tengok sapa lagi besar.bila dah accident mula la gelabah.
AKSI MENCUCUK atau dengan nama lain die IKUT BONTOT (jangan salah faham ye) Okay,so kereta kat depan korang ni bawak tak cukup laju,esp dekat lorong kanan pulak tu. So ape korang boleh buat is..follow belakang dia deeeekaaatt2..pastu bagi high beam yang menyilaukan mata memandang. Korang fooollow je dia sampai la dia perasan korang kat blakang dia dan kereta tu pun akhirnya sedarr dan masuk ke lorong kiri. Memangla salah kalau stay kat lorong kanan tapi bawak 'tak cukup laju', tapi bertimbang rasa lah sikit.. takyah nak cucuk2 angin kat blakang tu..kang kalau break emergency kang sape yang susah?tak ke bahlol namenye tu. time amik lesen pun dah belajar peraturan jarak antara kereta kan, takkan lupa kot?Lagi satu,it's rude. Apela susah sangat..just high beam sekali dua je,gerenti pemandu kat depan korang tu perasan..Kalau die buta,potong je la kereta tu..bila dia nampak ada kereta lain lagi laju pintas,they'll get the idea already.
Benda ni tak diajar semasa kursus latihan memandu dulu. Tapi nak bagitahu la kan..salah satu elemen penting memandu ni korang kena CONFIDENT, tapi bukan over confident tau. Prinsip ni(haha cam blaja sains pulak) boleh di apply-kan ketika anda berada di simpang2. TOLONG JANGAN TERAGAK-AGAK ketika memandu. Contoh situasi, korang berada di simpang 3, jalan A.kereta dari arah bertentangan(jalan B) nak masuk ke jalan A, dua2 bagi signal,tapi tak tahu siapa patut masuk dulu. korang tekan minyak,dengan harapan dia bagi korang jalan dulu,tapi sayangnya kereta takde signboard untuk bagitahu benda tu. so dia pun tekan minyak,senang cerita dua2 kereta bergerak(peningkan elaboration aku) bila tengok kereta depan ready nak belok,korang stop,and bila dia nampak korang buat benda sama,dia pun stop. time ni lah keluarnya bunyi katak cam dalam movie..........pause sebentar..krok..krook..krook..dalam hati "jalan la cepat",tak tahu siape patut bagi muka dekat siape.jadi kedua2 kereta itupun berhenti dan pemandunya menjadi nebes buat setengah suku saat. Kalau la korang dalam situasi ni korang ada 2 pilihan: satu-samaada korang bagi orang tu jalan dulu( bukak la bermin tingkap tu dan hayunkan tangan sambil buat sign 'come2'),atau pun dua-korang jalan je dulu.senang cerita..haishhh.
HONKING- adik2,kawan2,dan rakan2,tolong jangan hon sekiranya tidak perlu.lain la kalau driver yang di hon tu memang patut di hon,contohnye die makan jalan,belok tanpa bagi signal,memandu macam orang mabuk ke..dll. ni yang tak bersalah pun nak kena hon.lagi2 time jam,sikit2 nak hon suruh cepat. lagi satu,dekat traffic light.kereta 1st depan korang tu lambat 3 saat nak bergerak setelah lampu hijau,tu PUN NAK KENA HON! eh come'on la kan,bagi laa masa dia nak masuk gear ke tukar gear ke..yang gelabah sangat nak jalan tu kenape?tak lari punye lampu ijau tu.lainla die mamai sampai 15 saat tak gerak2,tu lain cerita la kan.
HANDBRAKE- ramai yang lalai dan lupa nak lepas handbrake tu lagi2 kereta auto. Dah selalu sangat dah jumpa manusia camni..kat screen depan tu kan ade sign untuk handbrake..sebelum nak mula perjalanan tu sila lah perhatikan sign2 yang menyala tu dengan baik.
dan yang ni tips je. Time korang nak matikan enjin kereta,disarankan supaya menutup segala macam button yang sedang berfungsi; aircond,radio,benda2 ni semua la. dan sape2 yang ade plug in USB/ MP3 player,cabutkan semua benda jadah tu. sila jaga kereta anda seperti mana anda menjaga diri sendiri. Kalau kaye sangat dan nak lenjan cukup2,lantak le korang.
JANGAN BAWAK KERETA MACAM ORANG MABUK-kejap kekiri,kejap ke kanan,kalau tak sure,stay line tengah je..tak menyusahkan orang paham!
bawak kereta dengan penuh cermat dan berhemat.pakai tali pinggang keledar,dan sentiasa patuhi had laju yang diberikan.tolong jangan bersikap LANGSI diatas jalan raya sebab WHAT GOES AROUNF COMES AROUND.
dan akhir sekali,TOLONG jangan jadikan kereta anda seperti kelab malam. bukak volume tu kuat2 kononnya nak tunjuk sound system hebat yang korang ada sampai lua kereta boleh dengar. itu menunjuk namanya..orang bongkak selalu rugi.bukan yang tamak je tau.

okay..tu jelah tips yang den nak kongsi takat ni.Yang penting,bawak kereta,ingatlah orang tersayang ye,renung2kan dan selamat beramal~~...

When I grow up I wana be....

2010-12-20T04:06:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I've been setting my eyes and my effort so hard since I was in school and dream of one day, I'm going to set a career in the education field, empowering young minds and shaping our future leaders. I always wanted it because it is the only thing I'm good at- Language. Frankly speaking I'm suck on the teaching part, but experience had taught me a long way. Sometimes I wonder why some people are good at teaching although they don't like it, they are just 'born with the gift' I presume. Some people are forced to sign in the education or teaching course and in the end they dropped out or get low grades.It happens a lot, and i mean every in institution there is.

Teaching is all about passion. If you don't really put your heart and soul into what you are doing, you will never make it to the top. I still remember the reason why I wanted to be a teacher so bad. This ONE person in particular, who I look up to all these years and wanted to be just like her, exactly like her. I remember the bond between us two that was so strong, and now couple years have passed and we hadn't spoken ever since. I heard some stories about her,that doesn't sound quite flattering. I just hope she'll make trough whatever hard time she's in and may god bless her always. Nevertheless, we are all human. We make mistakes and life is not always easy.

Now back to the topic, have you ever thought of pursuing a different career than what you always wanted to be? It came across my mind a few time. Apart from being a good and awesome teacher, I wanted to do something totally different..something like being a radio announcer.

Yeah I know that I don't talk that much, but I think it must be freakin' cool to do your job just by talking. Talk,talk, and talk until you get tired of it. And the cool part is you can get so many passes to new events,free tix for movies,and so much more.Isn't it damn cool??sigh. Well it is just a dream;p

Next is being a chef. I LOVE to cook and I cook all the time when I'm free. okay2,I love the wok,spices and all that kind of stuff esp when it comes to meat and poultry but I sucks at baking. I don't bake because I don't know how to. The oven in my kitchen only function to cook things like roasting chicken and all that kind of stuff but it has NEVER EVER being used for baking cookies or cakes. The ironic thing is I love eating pastries,cupcakes and all sort of delicacies made from beating eggs and flour. The sad part is I only get to eat them when I buy them in a bakery shop. Sounds awful kan? Whatever it is I like to cook.My fav meal is steak and I like having them like few times in a month. Good food makes me happy,it practically my life's motto. I don't eat a lot, but I do often eat,in a small portion.(well it depends) They say, "make a man happy trough his stomach, and he won't turn to another woman." I think it's true. Based on a true story, my friend told me that the reason his dad marry another woman is simply because his mom didn't got the time to cook and always let 'bibik' to do all the cooking. His father got sick of it,well,because men don't complain..they either kept all the feeling to themselves or just let it be. In this case his mom is a businesswoman, so you'll probably got the picture of how busy she is."Air tangan perempuan tu penting woo." So girls,if you wana impress your guys,cook something, a delicious meal for them and I swear, it'll put a bigggg faaattt smile on their face. I cook for my boyfie every week, whenever I got the chance cause simply I am applying the principle.haha:) If they are happy to eat what u cook for them,you'll be happy too,trust me!

So I think being a chef is totally worth it since you can cook and made everything that you want to eat, and seeing people being happy eating good food that YOU made is another satisfaction that you'll get,which is priceless. I'll polish up my cooking skill even though I'm not a chef in a top restaurant but still,I'm a good chef at heart:)

memories teaching at SMKGS

maybe like this?

this?

for him

2010-12-18T06:40:00.002-08:00

Post ini ditujukan untuk orang tersayang- En. Nor Wahizan.

Pejam celik,pejam celik, it's been 9 months we have been together. Been tru tough time,ups and downs,smiles and shed tears. Thank you hani,for always being there for me. I've never been this happier in my life and actually feel there is something for me to hold on to. It's such a gift to have someone like you. I couldn't ask for more.

Everytime when you're around I feel safe, you always cheer me up and make me smile. Take a good care of me and share with me your life,for every bits and pieces of it.I am truly grateful to have you in my life dear. I may be annoying and moody sometimes, and make poor judgement of things around me. I'd be mad at you for simple and stupid things for no reason, and I eat tons of good food and make a hole in your pocket.I may not be perfect, I don't have that perfect pretty face, or that bubbly personality. But there's one thing that I know, I do cherish you and I do love you, and that's all that matters.

here one for you:

i don't smile that much

and i don't talk that much

i don't always be bubbly

cause i am moody all the time

i'm like a cloudy day

while you're like the sun

always shine trough me

and brings out all the fun

Je t'aime sayang,from the bottom of my heart.

Good GREYcious

2010-12-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

Mistakes are how people learn,it's how WE learn. we made mistakes all the times regardless the circumstances and sometimes it can be a pain in the ass but you just gotta get tru it no matter what. I made mistakes in my life,so does everyone else. It may be your darkest secret,and unrevealing truth of your life that you wish it never happened. Sometimes we live to regret the mistakes we made, and sometimes we live to Not make those mistakes anymore. We learnt from it.

There are so many things in life we wish it did't happen. Sometimes we just feel and hope that there is a time machine where you can rewind the time and hope things will happen differently.Sometimes we wish we could see the future so that we will know what will happen next. The truth is,these things are what make our life worthwhile. we live each day to survive for another day,another day,and yet another day. The anticipation of not knowing what comes next is the thing that keep us going. We have hopes and dreams and goal in life to reach, and people to live our lives for. The sky might not always be bright, but the sun will always shine til the end.

Some of us lives by the past,haunted, afraid of letting it go. Some cling on it so hard to save the last bit of memories left behind because they don't know if they could ever feel the same thing again. It's a rush that keeps their live going, in search for something better. When you loose something,or even someone that you care the most, it just ripped your heart away. And in the lonely night you'll be thinking to yourself, 'am i doing the right thing?'

Things may not be the same again,and it's a shame it ends up pretty bad. But there is nothing you can do..if it's meant to be then it's meant to be.

People change,just like you change your outfit everyday. I believe there is always a reason for that.things might not be the same again,and probably in some dull moment you'll be wondering what each other's life goes on and how are they doing and suddenly you cried for no particular reason. see, the mind can play so many tricks on you and when that moments come,you are the most vulnerable state of being. I just hope some things goes on differently.

Take risk in life, do try on new things. What I learnt is to enjoy your life, appreciate what you have and don't be greedy. Greedy people don't get the benefits, smart people do. Life it too short to be whining about what's wrong. Nothing is wrong. the only problem there is YOU. So learn. We are born,live and die. You don't wana make it the other way around don't you?

I do wish you the best of luck.

2010-12-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

this blog is currently under maintenance.

Internship

2010-12-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

dengan ini,

saya Ainu Shazwani melapokan diri

bertugas sebagai tenaga pengajat

di FELC.

it's my first day at work.

whoa.

ape ape aje

2010-11-27T09:14:00.000-08:00

ntahla..kadang2 pelik gak dgn perangai manusia yang macam2 ni.buat aku pening,ntah kenapa rasa agak annoyed la bila kisah2 yang lepas nak diungkit2 balik..tak boleh ke let bygone be bygone? tak ke korang rasa macam hidup dalam bayang-bayang? sebab tu laaa korang tak boleh nak maju,sebab tu laa asyik nak ungkit,ungkit dan ungkit benda2 sampah yang lepas. apa pointnya?well camtu la kan pemikiran manusia yang tak berfikir dengan akal.

yeup,pengalaman dah banyak sangat ajar aku tentang berhati2 dengan manusia sekeliling kita. especially the ones yang really close to us.anyone can be a liar,a manipulator,hypocrite and impostors. betrayal are the hardest thing that a man can take, but there is always,always room for forgiveness. there's no need to keep on rewinding the past and playing that tape over and over again. if your life is such a mess,suck it up and do things right. and for god sake, pleaaase.. do 1 thing right in your life for once?it's hard for me to see you fall to the ground and unable to make yrself way up again.

oh,and here the post goes for this one man,enough la okay? malas dah nak kasi panjang2 cerita. we stop this once and for all right here.

yeah,kadang2 kawan boleh jadi lawan.

yang lagi hebat ada musuh dalam selimut.

ta ta da ta da~

2010-11-27T08:47:00.000-08:00

2 days more- till hell's week begins. yeah,ape lagi. EXAM la!

the long awaited day finally is here. 7 paper to go this time,and thank god no more 'QUARANTINE'!hahah.last time i remembered i have to go tru that 'locked in a jail' experience every time exam is here.yup,i took too much credit hour per sem and those paper clashed. so ape lagi everything has a price to pay. and this time duduk terkurung dlm bilik kebal cam ape tah..memang tak best la,tapi nak buat cane kan.

okay so my paper begins this monday,on the 29th,then 30,2,4,5,6 and the last one is on 10th.

i got an interview with Felda Vips on the 8th regarding my application for practicum at FELC beginning on January. but since i'm free starting after the exam, they wana hire me straight away! so i consider it as starting my career even though my practicum suppose to start on January. i guess i had an advantage cuz i came to start to work early.so nanti bila lecturer come and do evaluation,i'm all well prepared!hhee. my dad told me that they actually wana took me in for the job as soon as i finish my practicum,yeahhh! i'm not yet graduating and already got a job offer??shut up!

after last paper,nak amek 1 week break to relax kejap.go around places and travel. i have a few place in mind but still, i haven't make up my mind.tengoklah cane nanti after discussing with my sayang.

dad are retiring soon, and soon he'l b goyang kaki at home and enjoy himself travelling around the world. guess he's tired spending half of his life working for money and earning them for us. it's time for him to laid back and relax. now it's time for us to do the same thing.i love you dad.

mom and dad already book a few tix for travelling purposes. ke surabaya,umrah,cairo..bla3..yg sedihnya pegi bedua je..bukan nak bawak aku.hehe!tak best laaa~tak dapat den nak ikut.huu.

okay.done for this post.

p/s: azyan anda dimana?menyepiiii je.huh.

menyepi.

2010-11-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

mesti ramai yg tertanya2 kan..lame betul aku menyepi dari dunia blogging ni.bukan ape,kemalasan nak menaip tu mmg habit aku. jadi tuan2 dan puan2,post ni jugak akan jadi agak pendek la sebab keyboard kat cc ni wat aku lagi menyirapp nak menaip.hihi.

okay,so that day keluar dgn HP fans untuk tgk muvie hp yang ke 7.well a bit disappointing la sebab muvie die agak boring.lambat pulak tu jalan cerita dia..huu.nway i did have a great day keluar dengan safwa,anis,azam arep n noon.

thanks again.

so next week aku akan mula melalui hari2 menyiksakan---EXAM! study hapak pun tak lagi.hehe..wish me luck~!

habis exam je on 10th 12,aku akan mulakan alam baru--yeah guys,I'M GOING TO BE A LECTURER! wahaha!rasa macam tak percaya je kan.hihi!:)

so that's all la.next time sambung..jari jemari aku dah terlalu malas untuk go on menaip.hehe..

2010-10-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

bad bad bad PMS. almost killed me last night.sigh.

Well I have no time for blogging currently since typing is not my hobby. These tiny little fingers are just so lazy to run around the keyboard.hahahaha! well im now adjusting my life,finding a new home to live in since i need a time to be on my own. i mean a place where it's near my uni. current place is just not-on-my-radar.

i need to be more open minded and now i dont care bout what people say. and in fact im feeling kinda exited that now i'm gonna let go of some things on my mind.

blog update

2010-09-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

assignment byk.

jariku malas menaip.

sekian.

Raya Raya!

2010-09-08T15:05:00.001-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya

Aidilfitri

Maaf Zahir Batin

andai terkasar bahasa

tersilap kata

terlanjur bejenaka~

2010-09-05T06:03:00.001-07:00

The truth is... I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart... and I never really got it back

- Reese Witherspoon, Sweet Home Alabama

2010-09-05T05:43:00.001-07:00

Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy, and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life without this. To make the journey without falling deeply in love, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, then you haven't lived

- Meet Joe Black

hey YOU.

2010-08-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

bukan nak marah atau ape,tapi pelik sikap manusia ni berperangai 'menjelikkan' bila tak dapat ape yg mereka nak. kadang2 nak tergelak pun ade bila ur acting complete opposite side of what you are. stop pretending dude.does it feels good hurting people's feeling and crushing yours at the same time too?it does feel better for a moment rite?but then like a boomerang it just get u right back.

i lost u once,and i can definitely go tru the same thing again.in fact i'd lost you a long time before since then.i can forgive,but not forget. oh blame me for being so lame,unhearted, psycho bitch, and watever names you feel like calling,i dont give a damn bout it. in fact i will just laugh loudly at your stupidity and your fucking high ego.

i dont REGRET,and i probably wouldn't have to feel that way since your attitude loathe me so much right now. i hope things between us ended up smoothly but i guess this was not a happy ending. for a couple of days i was thinking the song "thinking of you" that really reminded me of you.but now i cant stop listening to "my happy ending".

i never doubt you,never,i know you could do so much better than i do.in fact i'd be glad that u did find some1 to hang on to right now.do i feel jealous?yes.just the thought of you being with someone new nearly kills me.but that is the price i have to pay for letting you go. but that was it.i do not cross the line.but here,let me remind you that i am not interested or care or even paying any attention to your current life.yes it does hurt so bad since our history goes back so long in time but time will heal the pain.you should know better. i am strong,and im invincible.

i felt sorry for you tho.stop bragging,you talked too much.

Product Review: VICHY Bi-white reveal

2010-08-12T23:52:00.000-07:00

my face without make up ya

i forgot to put one more bottle.it's in the bathroom!:D

okay kawan2.happy fasting everyone! hari ni nak buat product review pulak.yeah as they say sharing is caring. at lot of my friends ask me the type of product i'm using on my face to maintain it's radiance plus keep them healthy. so now i'm gonna show you what is it that i'm using.

i just bought this VICHY trial set which comes in 5 different types of creams and bottles to be used in daily basis. the first time i came across vichy product is when i got a free sample of a moisturising cream in a magazine. it's awsome. it leaves your skin sooo soft and i feel like touching it all the time.

but as you know, the cost of vichy product is quite pricy tho. this trial pack that i bought cost around rm35. its in miniature size,keep in mind. normal size bottle will cost around rm30 ++ EACH.so u do the math then.

okay.the first bottle is the EAU THERMALE SPA WATER. which is a natural thermal spa water rich in minerals salts and oligo-elements and refreshes your skin. just spray it on your face and leave it a few moment then pat dry. you will feel rejuvinated after that.

oh,before you do the step above,use the vichy cleansing cream foam first as you got to have a clean canvas before applying any product on your face.

next, use the double whitening lotion,rich in vitamin CG +LHA.put a few tap on cotton pads n dab it all over your face.

moving on,use the double correcting whitening essence which also rich in CERAMIDE+LHA.apply evenly on your face.

the final step is using the double correcting whitening emulsion with 24hrs moisturising formula and then wallah!ur done. i've been using this for about two weeks and the result is unbelievable. love it so much and i'm gonna stick to using vichy;D

i can feel the difference when applying make up. it's much easier when the canvas is in best condition.my make up lasts longer and now i just use simple make up: a foundation,compact powder and blusher and im good to go. even without makeup i feel great. so go on and try one.hehe.

what else..?oh ya.i'm using clairol herbal essences shampoo( they're just amazing!)

i love st.ives product: the collagen mask and apricot srub

nevea lotion and byk lagi la.

so that's it~!

that's all i think.

shop till you drop

2010-08-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

sandal

boots

5 inch wedges by Franco Martini. my fav!

*ignore my bantal busuk.hahaha!

well i must admit,shopping is one of my bad habits. i just can't stand the urge to have new things and especially SHOES! idk how much collection of shoes i had but its just getting bigger,and bigger.

sampai almari kasut kat bawah tu dah penuh dah dgn kasut2 i.most of it just pakai beberapa kali je.mama selalu ngomel bila beli kasut baru.haisshhh....

yesterday saje,i bought 3 PAIRS injust one day.uhhhh~:(

and i shop a few tops too.so thats all.

currently.

2010-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

hey i'm back.yet,spending some time trying to push my lazy fingers to write on my blog.bukan ape,i'm not the type yg suka taip panjang2.penatlah.but nvm ,for now we better stick to the point.

first and foremost,today is the birthday of someone who used to be close to me. just wishing u a very happy birthday.hope that now ur in a new age,u'll getting richer and happier.

my new sem is starting soon,and yes my uni changed its name to unirazak,and a new location too. so far life has been incredibly challenging. (ahhh.malasnya nak taip lagi!)

so that's all.malas tak tau kenapa.takda mood.

4 lines.

2010-07-29T09:37:00.001-07:00

Struggling with past isn't easy.
they said, the hardest part is moving on..
But i believe
time will heal..

Update heyy!

2010-07-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

heyya lame tak kembali mencoret cerita2 terkini kan ;p sorry guys lately busy dengan kerja laa.hehe. okay,so what's new? erm..oh ya im starting my new sem soon starting on August.

so tu jelaa. unitar is moving to a new location,PJ. so nak tanak kena la pindah rumah.

buat masa ni tak dapat lagi cari rumah so tumpang rumah orang dulu.then baru cari rumah sewa bersama kawan2.

erm life lately da kembali stabil.huuu. oh guys watch this vid.nak rap cam dia boleh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCiruKOP5sM

smiling

2010-06-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

I hope this time we'll make it trough.

I'm counting on you.

omong kosong

2010-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

now baru je abes bace post dari blog azam.ade sebut pasal hermione granger.yeah how u wish to have that time turner.and NOW i just feel like i am her.why?cuz aku amek course/kredit hours yang terlalu banyak dalam satu sem.haha now it exactly feels like aku betul2 feel watak hermy tu.haha.. last sem dah amek 9 subjek. penat gile nak mati sampai aku pon tak sangke leh buat.alhamdulillah la jugak pointer still maintain macam dulu..takde bende yang brubah. jadi sem ni aku decide nak brehat kejap.stiap sem amik jumlah bilangan subjek yang agak melampau dari yang normal.sume pasal nak abeskan cepat n keja balik mase yg tertinggal.hehe..tu la..gian sangat aku nak grad kan.tgkla..takde la stress mane pon tapi kadang2 agak fedup gak bile dapat lec tahap2 proff yg kerenah leceh nak dilayan.tu la tak betul ni la tak betul..adehh..

ade penah skali dapat lec camtu.,huhh..tobat2..

jadi sem ni aku keja2 keja dan keja sampai penat badan ni....siang ngaja,mlm pun ngaja..huhuh..ape nak jadi ni..

erm so rite now things are working smoothly.a few things are going back to normal..and another few 'things'.but its still too early to jump to that conclusion.;))

erm.i dont know the title of this post.

2010-06-22T09:05:00.001-07:00

i dont know.for quite sometime i thought that it was over by now,that i can finally move on with my life and be happy. i took a hard fall,and it wasn't easy to get back on my feet. but somehow i fall right back to where i was,the point where it all started. now its up to make to choose the path i wanted, and it was the last time i ever got this chance.

watching 500 days of summer reminds me of something.remember the last part where the guy asked the girl why did she marry her husband,and she said,"i dont know.i just know.i think it was meant to be.i think if i came 2 mins after that,things might not happen the way it was now.what if it was meant to be?"..and it left me with a deep thought.yes.what if,what if.there must be some reason why it all happened.but i just can't seem to find the answer yet.

yes we made wrong choices in life.but sometimes things cant be undo just like that.especially with people. one cut is enough to make people be different than before.

this is my new nephew

2010-06-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

cute kan.

imran ryzqi.

he's gonna be my fav one.

watch out boy.

singgah

2010-06-18T09:26:00.001-07:00

lama dah tak update blog.haha.saje je malas;p don't know why.now lets say i'm taking a break for a while okay?;p

banyak plan ni.n banyak tempat2 percutian yang dah ade dlam list.tinggal nak pegi je lagi.huu.kumpul duit,pastu bazir duit.mmg terbaik la!oh ya people,tomorrow m having bbq at my house,n we'll have fun together smokin the beef.come n join.all are invited.;p plus,im cooking most of the dishes too!ni la peluang nak rasa air tangan aku.hoho.

so basically im going to genting,sunway lagoon,tioman island,perhentian,indonesia and lots more in the rest of the week,spending my hols time in such adventure.plus,nim(my unitar friend)dah dilivered her baby named ELLE.congrats dear!so next week im going to her place to c that newborn;p oh yeah,and i got A NEW NEPHEW too! kakak ipar baru je bsalin few days ago to a baby boy named IMRAN RYZQI. cute gilaaa~~look at our family's gen,mesti baka baik.hahah.lol

so my life rite now?superb!im enjoying job,and everything are doin just great.there's no need to talk about the past no more.FIFA WORLD CUP is here,and my team is ARGENTINA.ntahla,idk y i like them so much.maybe its because of maradona.haha.so ARG,gud luck!

2010-06-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

lama dah tak update blog.haha.saje je malas;p don't know why.now lets say i'm taking a break for a while okay?;p

now,today.

2010-06-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

yeah i'm so glad.my life is NORMAL again n everything goes according to the plan. the past is the past so there's no more need to turn my head around.i'm soo over you!hahaha feels great to be able to breathe and smile again with no worries.

rite now im feeling like deleting every single entry on my blog that does mention about you,and you.but hey,some other time i will look back and just laugh at the foolishness of myself. so i don't need to worry much.like i said,i never knew u,n u r no more exists in the chapters of my life.

i had a blast yesterday.we went to sungai klah hotspring in perak, berkelah ramai2. my amily and my mom's bestie and her sister's family tag along too.the more the merrier rite?aha,it's been a while since i set my foot on that place.best jugak la.it's under FELDA,so everything was free for us.haha.kalau tak kena bayar la.

the hotspring mmg PANAS.yeah.haha.i can only soak my foot in pool that is under 40'c.tak tahan seyh.ohh yeah my frens are rite now in sungai gabai.mandi manda.they must be haviing so much fun rite now.ohh yeah kenduri matsan,soo soru tak dapat pegi la.i just got back tadi and now its almost 4.tak tau sempat ke tak.sorry la paklang:(

tadi borak2 with my dad and my bro.he's planning to take lesen senjata api so he can go hunting with my uncle.ape lagi,im interested too.since my dad has an experience in this thingy (he got the license a long2 time ago and he kept a shotgun in his room,in case some wild dogs come in the neighborhood and he just shoot them;)). back to the story,so i said im interested too.yeah,and my dad agrees.just the process is kinda tough u know.nnti nak bawak pegi lapang sasar to try shooting and some other stuff,cool eh.haha i cant wait!

this evening plann nak pegi titiwangsa jogging.takpun pegi wangsa walk layan movie.huhu

next few weeks nak sambung my vacay to an island pulak.wahhaah.enjoying life now^.^

eh kawan2,im planning a bbq for us.tell me when ya free.;P

merapu3

2010-06-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

post ini mungkin mengandungi unsur2 marah,ganas,sedih,jiwang,gembira,takot,suka dan sebagainya,tidak sesuai untuk mereka yang berumur 18 tahun ke bawah.harap maklum.

yah.sekarang sudah kembali single seperti dulu.ya3 u guys maybe dah fedup tengok aku on off on off dalam mase yang sangat cepat kan?part tu aku takleh nak komen.maybe betul kate someone tu yang aku ni easily fall for someone.sigh*

dah masuk seminggu the break off thing happen.and im trying to cope with it,again.it's not easy,sometimes i just wish u cud be like azam single je spanjang mase with no worries n no heart breaking feelins.kan bagus camtu,if i remain single dari dulu.haish2.but like i said,it's unexpected.kalau nak jadi,jadi la.i'm not the kind of girl yang takut nak amik risk,but sometimes the stakes are too high.uhh benci betul when i'm not get over of someone.rase tensi,tak tenteram,a lot of daydreaming and a lot and 'a lot' going on my mind. of course things change after both of u separated. no more calling askin q's and smsing all the time,no more seing each other and lepaking together. no more playing card games,no more talking bout football and watching it 2gether,no more monopoly till morning,no more nasik lemak makcik kat bawah,and no more sleeping at 10am in the morning and wake up at 6pm in the evening. everything went back to normal before we met. we are going on with our own life now.

we both decide,because of this love triangle that made me sick waiting for something i'll never find.we'll frankly speaking im confused,and sometimes i feel like laughing. is it good to let you go cause i feel sooooo relieve letting u go for her,but i can't get u out of my fucking head! and facebook,uhh ya,made things much worse. jealousy,sakit hati and all kind of things that cud ruin your life was there inside Facebook!hahaha. yah,it is funny,seeing me myself being completely okay with my life trying to get over this part while someone else out there who wanted me so bad doing this was unhappy. i guess KARMA does happen in reality rite?now you get your price for ruin somebody's else relationship.if it wasn't for u,things will be okay by now.

yeah i got my flaws too.but i think i gave my best for this,and still the answer is 'you'r too good for me'.i guess bitches are great for u guys maybe?u'll be a perfect match.

ntah la.i don't know what are u thinking,stop acting like u are an 18 y'o teenager,act like a grownup man do and save your ass! can't u just see there's so many things i do to make u happy,but still everything was not enough.i'm tired of excuses and lies and another heart breaking saga.this time enough is enough.i just wana get over you and i can't wait to do so.

yeah,there's a few things of mine that is still in your possession and i'll get it back asap.

rite now feels like i'm attached to you still,but it won't last for long.

i made up my mind.and there's no turning back.i hope ur happy and got what u want,but not what u need.sigh.

someday-the perishers

2010-05-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

You say you left to find reasons not to stay
You say you lost yourself somewhere on the way
You say living is easier when I´m around
And you say you need me help to get off the ground

But I´m not gonna go home tonight
I ain´t gonna leave ´til I know you´ll be alright
But I´m afraid we´re searching for things we´ll never find
´cause your problems are just like mine they´re hard to define

Someday all of this pain may make sense to you
Some say losing it all can bring something new

But I´m not gonna go home tonight
I ain´t gonna leave ´til I know we´ll be alright
But I´m afraid that you and I are wasting our time
´cause your problems are just like mine
they´re hard to define

We´re searching for things we´ll never find
Your problems are just like mine they´re hard
define

Some say you have to fall to learn how to fly
Some day we may understand just the reason why
Some day

tangled.

2010-05-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

another 3 months passed,and yet a lot of things happen during that short period of time. yes when i mean a lot,it's a LOT. I can't believe that so many things has changed since then, my life was a complete turnover. some of it was good,while some of it just a stupid action. i wish i can go back and rewind the time and fix all of this.but i know it's too late to do so.there is no such thing as 'turning back the time' even if i kill myself,it won't happen.sigh.

i started to question,and started to doubt the reason behind all of this thing that happened.it must happen for a reason right?but im still figuring out the reason why and until now i cant find my answer to that question.it's mind bothering,it's nerve breaking. i hate this feeling.and i hate it so bad. it consumes every part of me.tell me,how could i fix this,how could i ever feel the same way like i did before?i just can't. i'm fallin in too deep and now i cant get out.im stucked.shit.

i dont know where is the part that i missed.here,this or there?point it out to me please.i cant do this anymore. feels like the day that goes by was wasted and filled with pain and sorrow and emptiness alone. 25.i guess it's a bad number. oh yeah it happened again.again.n again. till when this gonna end?till the day i die.i wish i just get tru it now.

someone tells me im in denial. let me defy the meaning-"the act of refusing to comply." so does this mean im actually refusing the truth while believing something that i am not?i lost my mind now.i cant even know what's running in my head that made me so messed up right now. things are so tangled up and seriously im not in a good shape. what im doing right now is distracting my mind so that it wont stray off to far.but,it is still the same.

3 months i knew you. and i still remember the 1st moment we met.unexpected.it was something i didnt see it was coming.that yellow shirt u wore.i still remember each and every seconds of it.uhm.c,just told ya.i kept remembering the past and it makes me so hard to move on forward. so that we are now friends,and we made lots of 'deal' and so on,but im afraid that maybe it wont be the same again.im afraid that we are loosing this game forever.

i need another 3 months to pass. i dont know.im just waiting what's going to happen next.by the time i get to experience it,i tell ya. yeah,i just typing what comes try my mind rite now.it is all over the place. we made mistakes,and none of it we can turn back.some of it we might regret.

i was hoping i NEVER met you,you,and you. it's funny when u cant figure out what is your feeling.are you mad,sad,happy or something else?i cant.i dont know exactly what i feel.sometimes i wish i could just run away far and far away from all of you and go to someplace where i can find my serenity.

i just wana get over with this.urghhh.

finally

2010-05-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

finally we made the right choice

finally we made the right decision.

finally it is all over now.

im glad.

like a huge burden lifted off my shoulder.

lao shi ni hao!

2010-05-23T05:39:00.001-07:00

hey guys. hehe.kali ni nak bercerita sikit pasal aktiviti2 yang aku buat sepanjang cuti sem ni. fyi,aku sekarang seorang wanita bekerjaya.hahaha.sound like gempak je..hehe. dah buat azam time vuti ni nak keja cari duit sendiri,jadi quest aku pun bermula mengapply job kat jobstreet,n seperti aku jangkakan laman web tersebut tidak pernah menghampakan aku tiap kali aku nak cari keje.

so,bermula la kerjaya aku sebagai seorang lao shi(cikgu) disebuat tempat tuisyen di Kepong. tempat tu specifically request untuk org yang boleh cakap cina sahaja,jadi bakat yang aku ada ni tak di sia2 kan langsung.tak hairan la aku sorang je malay kat sane,yang lain sume cakap aku mmg pure cina.even student2 pun tak caya bila aku ckp aku ni malay.:)

ahaha.im lovin my job.bukan sbb ape,keje die takde stress sangat.penat tu biase la,keje mane tak penat kan.tapi seronok bila tengok telatah budak2 ni and at the same time aku asah balik bakat aku dalam mandarin yang aku dah tinggalkan bertahun2 lamanya. words2 yg aku tak tau baca now aku dah ingat balik,n banyak perkataan aku leh tulis dengan senang ati. fluency aku pun bertambah baik.sbb asik guna mandarin je tiap kali cakap.

erm,so pegi keje biase la,jadi minah rempit.nak bawak keta jamm la.kena kua awal.plus minyak lagi.ooo tidak2.cume cuace skrg ni yang panas nak mampos membuatkan tangan aku semakin hitam.hhaa.lumrah la tu...

em bos aku sorang yg sangat stern. bila main,main la.bila time seyes,kalah singa betina.huhh. nak cite sikit pasal budak2 cina ni.aku agak kagum dengan cara diorang.first skali time makan, nasik n lauk2 dalam plate diorang mesti clear,takleh bazir langsung!if ko tak suka makan lauk tu,suck it in,there's no buat muke kesian.nak tanak,kena makan jugak sayo tu.cam hari tu,ade budak laki ni tak suke makan kacang peas. sampai die nak muntah2 telan sebijik2 bnd alah tu. kena paksa.huhh.kalo budak2 melayu,buang je dalam tong sampah klu tanak.tak penah nak hargai..bukan nak kata racist,tapi kenyataan kan. even sebutir nasik yang jatuh kat atas meja pun diorang akan kutip balik n makan.gile diorang hargai..n tiap kali abes makan,pinggan tu licin cam baru basuh.dasyat tak dasyat diorang makan??

time buat keje skolah,mesti siapkan sebelum balik rumah.rule die bila diorang sampai umah je keja skolah mesti suma dah siap..balik hanya untuk rehat n tido je...klu time2 aku dulu la bejaga sampai tengah malam nak siapkan keja skolah..time ade mase siang tu main la ape la...hehe

jadual keja aku cani:

12.30:masuk keja.

1.10: pickup budak2 kat skolah.(dekat je,dlm 200 meter.)

1.30-2.00: makan tengah hari, mandi (for the kids la)

2.00-4.00:homework time. time ni la aku supervise keja2 skolah diorang.mana diorang tak tau buat,diorang tny aku.

4.00-4.30:rehat,minum petang.

4.30-6.00:kelas tambahan. tiap2 hari aja subjek berbeza; isnin-bm,sel-bi,rabu-math,kamis-sc,jum-bahasa cina.

6 petang:balik...n time ni la paling bosan sbb tade keje nak buat.tggu budak2 balik je

7 petang- balik rumah..

so basically cani la keja aku...senang je kan?hehe...

yang penting keje ni halal.rite?so~~..sampai sini jela.hehe.

p/s:yan letters tp juliet da kua.bile nak tgk?

fun facts

2010-05-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

1.Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right while women’s shirts have the buttons on the left

2.Plato asserts in his Symposium that initially all humans were whole, hermaphroditic beings with four hands, four legs, two identical faces on one head/neck, four ears, and both sets of genitals. When these beautiful, strong beings tried to overthrow the gods, Zeus split them into two—man and woman— and created the innate desire of human beings for one another to feel whole again.

3.The longer and more deliberate a courtship, the better the prospects for a long marriage. People who have intense, Hollywood-type romances at the beginning are more likely to divorce.

4.Everyday, 15 billion cigarettes are smoked worldwide.

5.Hugo Boss designed some of the Nazi SS uniforms

6.Onions have no flavor, only a smell

7.Polar bears with transparent, fluffy fur actually have black skin

8.The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest day for plumbers in the US

9.You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV

10.Coffee beans aren't beans; they are fruit pits

11.A pound of potato chips costs 200 times more than a pound of raw potatoes

12.Fortune cookies were actually invented in America (not China), in 1918, by Charles Jung

13.February (the month of my birthday)1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon

14.Dogs have about 10 vocal sounds; cats have over 100

15.The people in Bali only have one of four names: Wayan, Made, Nyoman, and Ketut

16.There are more pyramids in Peru than in Egypt

17.2,520 can be divided by 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 without having a fractional leftover

18.Kissing helps prevent tooth decay

19.Your thumb is the same length as your nose

20.In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her cheating adulterous husband but she may only do so with her bare hands

21.In Germany, an official approval is needed before a new born is named.

22.Horses can't vomit and pigs can't look up in the sky

23.In Arizona it is illegal to have more than two dildos in one house

24.5% of the world population lives in the US but 22% of the world's prisons population are held in the US.

25.All swans in England are the property of the queen or king

26.You will weigh less if you weigh yourself when the moon is full

27.The national orchestra of Monaco (a nation in Europe) has more individuals than its army.

28.The egg came first.

29.All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

30.The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

different.

2010-05-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

it's different now.

there's a lot of changes.

i changed.

can't you understand

the fact that

it is not the same anymore?

i am.

2010-05-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

dear diary,

i'm not scared.i'm not scared.i'm not scared.oh yes i am.

:)

2010-05-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

anything about everything.

2010-05-16T02:35:00.000-07:00

they say

"where there is love,there is pain."

and yet look where we are.

"never loves a man, who are not sure of his heart"

i say,there you are.

they say

"don't fall for someone, who can't let go of their past."

and here we are again.

quotes 5

2010-05-10T09:56:00.001-07:00

"I love you so much that it hurts.

Are you saying that you're not happy with me?

No. Of course I'm happy with you.

Then, why does it hurt you to love me?

There's a very thin line that separates pleasure and pain".

mixed tape

2010-05-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

uhh ahh.wondering a while what the words all mean. should i believe it? well somehow things change right?i'm still wishing. hoping that one day miracle could happen.

there are so much things that i have to start to get use to. anyway sem break already starting now,about 3 weeks. i got so much plans to fill up on my boring day.esok reunion kat gambang waterpark.jauh sgt nak pegi sampai pahang tu ha. then jumaat panjat bukit broga.itupun klu jadi.well hope so.lame dah tak beriadah ni.

ohh yeah,i'm looking for part-time job too.takat ni dah dapat 2 3 offer tok jadik cikgu tuisyen.laku la weh!ahah.blum grad lagi ni..hehe.bongkak tahap cipan.

short sem is starting next month,but i got only one subject on my list.yang lain dah kena abes sapu time long sem.ahaha.i got plenty of time for vacay,hols,and work. nak kumpul duit bertimbun2 utk bawak jalan2.n safwa is coming to msia nnti.it's gonna be a hell of a journey i told ya.miss u dear.heehe

ohoh..lupe2.air terjun sungai sendat,pergh.terbaik laaa.aritu dah bjaya buat lompatan berani bunuh diri,gian nak wat lagi.tinggi terjunan agak2 dlm bangunan 2 tingkat.tinggi tak tinggi.takat ni rekod aku tak pecah lagi.yg laki pun cuak nak buat.kesian2.hehe.nak ajak bebudak kaduit gi nnti b4 abes cuti.

ouhh.nway sekarang masih lagi mencuba,try la sampai boleh.tanak caye ayat quote kat atas tu.tipu2.huhh.

"don't let your ego cost another heart to suffer"

i like it a lot. aalaahai.benci3 bila mengenangkan bnd ni.puitt,dah tak boleh tu ckp jela,ape la susah2 sgt nak try2 sampai tak dapat.menyakitkan hati.bile dah parah nnti,baru nak nyesal.

tu la manusia,tamak.sume nak,itu nak,ini nak.hmmm. kali ni last try,kalo tak boleh gak.sorry la ye. at least patung pun orang syg kan.haish.bende la aku post ni.bengong betul.ahh.chow.

hermy,hermy,hermione!

2010-05-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

found this pic of emma watson aka hermione which used to be my nickname in school.lol.

haha.well,obvious isn't it?she's all grown up now,and getting use to controversial pics now.

well people,you gonna see more of this stuff!(but i still can't accept the fact that Miley is acting like she's all grown up,c'on,ur just 16!!!enjoy being a teen duhhh~!)

i can never

2010-05-06T02:45:00.000-07:00

i can never feel the same thing

as what i felt to you before

i can never trust you

the way i did before

i can never look at you the same way

as what i did before

i can never open up to you

cause you blew it all away

i can never hold your hands

as tight as much

the way i did

before you killed my heart.

yes we are all done pretending

done saying things

that is just a lie

we are all murderers

and serial killers

by breaking people's heart

and eat them alive

tear and shatter it apart

and then smash it into tiny bits of pieces

we are all perfect liars

and the mask that covers the truth

will finally gives a clue

then sanity began to fade

and anger conquers

then more and more heart

will be sacrifice

and more and more tears

will fall

is there any humane being

who could at least try?

they say good things comes for those who waits.

i wonder,how much waiting does it takes?

cuz im done with this stupid plays.

tepuk dada,tanya selera.

2010-05-06T02:39:00.000-07:00

mengenang kisah lalu

saat jiwa bersatu

adakah rindu bertamu

di halaman syahdu

mungkin tiba waktu

mengorak langkah baru

pergi jauh dariku

aku bukan untukmu

tak ada sesalan

mahupun sebuah penantian

secebis noktah harapan

terputus ditengah jalan.

mengeluh.

2010-05-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

human heart is too complicated to be described.it was full with millions of feelings that cud somehow change your mood of the day and shape who you are. we all been tru some tough time in our lives before, our heart been broken,or we broke someone's heart. all is left to do is let the karma do the thing.

i just wonder,why is it so easy to broke people's heart and you be so happy about it?but in the end when u finally come to your senses you will start to regret what you just did and when that time came by,it's too late to turn back.

just imagine what you did to the heart u just broke.

are you satisfied?

are you happy?

people are not toys or dolls,we have heart and feelings,we feel sad and happy,we laugh and we cry.it's just not fair when someone give all of their heart to you,you take them for granted,shattered it,broke it,and torn it into pieces. it DOES hurts,yes it does.and it hurts so bad.

only time can heal the pain,yes,but how long?y that when one heart is broken,everything around it have to pay the price too?

susah kan.manusia ni macam2 ragam ade. yang sedihnya pada orang yang suke nak hancurkan hati orang lain. perit,disebabkan sekali tu saje,sakitnya sampai bertahun2 lamanya,kadang2 kekal. bila sekali hati tu dah tertutup,mmg payah nak bukak balik.cuma nantikan satu keajaiban je.kadang2 rasa nak marah je.serabut kepala otak ni.haish,kerja aku,mengeluh.

update

2010-04-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

owhh hi3 there fella.

busy teramat sgt,maklumlah tgh musim exam.

exam stat rabu ni.so kena prepare byk2.aha.hapak aku tak sentuh lagi.

sori lame tak update.tu la pasal.rase cam beraaaaaaaaaaaat je nak menaip.huhu.korang2,bulan 5 ni nak gi perhentian bercuti.kaduit clan,sape nak ikot dialu-alukan.pls3.the more the merrier.

kos,nnti aku bgtau.tarikh dlm 12-14 may ni.nnti ape2 aku kasi konfemkan.

berminat,sms/roger je aku.okay??

so...uhh.rambut dah pendek.esok nak buat rebond la.tak tahan rambut kembang3 ni.

rindu rambut curly dulu.aisheh....nak wat cane.cuace makin panas.haha..nak maintain pun susah.lagi pun yan ckp cam dawai.ahaha.siot nyer yan.

sooo.erm takde perkembangn baru.mama n abah dah selamat pulang dari tanah suci mekah.alhamdulillah.tahun depan klu ade rezki insyaallah giliran aku pulak.niat dah ade ni.harap2 sampai seru,org kate la;p

movie oh movie,time2 ni la ko nak kelua. tapi cite DATE NIGHT mmg the best.freakin awsome+hilarious.tak tahan aku gelak.sampai naik malu kwn2 aku gelak kuat sgt dlm wyg tuh.haha.ape daa.

oh,ade upcoming movie yg nak tgk:

IRON MAN

THE LOOSERS

ONG BAK3

TEKKEN

adehh.macam3 lagi la.skg ni ngah obsess ngan robert downey jr. ahaha.pakcik tu mengancam la!hot seyh.sejak bila taste aku kat org2 pakcik tua ni.huuuuu.

lately nak jadi adrenalin junkie.last week gi pangkor snorkeling. after exam nak gi perhentian,sane nnti nak try scuba.tu pun klu lepas.hee.nex ade member mintak join convoi superbike.wahhh.larat ke aku nak bawak kawasaki ninja tuh?try dlu eh.klu lepas oke je.no hal!:P

so,nnti la sambung.penat pulak ni.hehee.daa~

random thoughts

2010-04-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

"you are not the kind of guy that i've been dreaming of,

nor the type of guy that meets my need,

you are the basic contrast of everything i imagined,

but that imperfection of yours makes it worth while to be with you."

sometimes we choose to be with the one that doesn't have everything that we want,

but that person does give us everything that we need.

life will be boring, to just stick to your own rule.

open up your mind,

and see what's left behind.

i am,i am,i am.

i wish,i wish,i wish.

2010-04-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

lately i've been thinking a lot. yes,and i mean a lot. sometimes it's just drive me crazy to just let my mind wonder for a while. exam is just around the corner,and still there's assignments and some other shitty stuff to do. mom and dad are going to perform umrah next week, i lost count how many times they did that before,and i wonder when will my time come. insyaallah, next year maybe,in god's will.

currenty listening to james morrison. seeking for something that soothe the ear, i can't wait for hols to come by. perhentian vacay this upcoming may, and i'm soooooo longing for some nature-green tranquility. a lot has been going on this past few month, it's overwhelming sometimes, but i'm glad things are now over and i need to get it out of my mind soon.

life so far has been okay. yes,ok. i'm still able to stand, but my footsteps are weak and slow. sometimes i felt like it's so hard to trust someone, and frankly speaking i lost it. yes, i can trust nobody, including the ones who are close to me. i'm sorry,sometimes i wish i cud just try, but even the slightest 'try' drag me back to where i started.

yes,listen to the click five -"empty", and the words say it all for me. my ring finger has been 'free' for quite sometimes now, and sometimes i just look at it and wish that line has never been there.

"we choose what we want, and sometimes we made the wrong choices to find the right one." i just came up with that quote a few days ago:) aha,i wonder, how is it exactly to FAKE a feeling? you can't force your heart to do something that against your desire,but in some circumstances the will of the situation needed you to be a hypocrite. it's aching,but surprisingly a feeling of ease and happiness came by and struck you. ironic isn't it? but that does gonna last for long. i got a feeling that something bad is going to happen again, and i'm still so afraid to open the door to the future. i wish i just stayed here, having an empty feeling rather than getting hurt over and over again. how funny it is,that in certain times i feel like i'm strong and invincible, but sometimes so vulnerable that i can just fall all over again into a coma.

i wish, i wish, i wish, for a lot of things to be different now. even how much i wished, things will remain the same.sigh.

"can i made the right choice this time?"

If I could tell the world just one thing

It would be we're all OK

And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful

And useless in times like these

I won't be made useless

Won't be idle with despair

I will gather myself around my faith

For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know

But they're not yours; they are my own

And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes

It didn't steal your laughter

And heart ache came to visit me

But I knew it wasn't ever after

-jewel,hands

TAGGED by jime

2010-03-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

Ditag oleh cik hajime@ yan.

so here it is!

soalan 1 : apakah hubungan anda dengan dia?
bff.hahaa.tak dapat dinafikan lagi kami mempunyai otak geliga yg gila2,sbb tu kami bleh 'masok' je. lagipon kitorg kan twin.ahhaa.sehaj bile aku pon tak tau.tapi yan ngan aku mmg suke wat bnd merapu sejak dari skolah.i know her darkest secret.whahahaahahah!!!!!

soalan 2 : 5 impression terhadap dia.

1. sangat putih

2. takleh sebut R' dengan betul

3.cam ala2 pompuan ayu gitu,padahal tak.

4.terlalu obsess ngan komik+anime tahap otaku gitu.

5. die comel.(tpi aku lagi comel la)hehe

soalan 3 : perkara yang paling memorable dia lakukan kepada awak.

ntah.nak pilih yg mane satu ea?sbb byk sgt.she's one of the best listener i ever had.kalo nak luahkan perasaan n masalah,die la org first yang akan aku cari.maseh syg...!

soalan 4 : perkara yang paling memorable dia katakan pada awak.
"AINUUUUUUUU!" ahahaha.

soalan 5 : kalau dia kekasih awak?
uhhh.tak penah try pulak.nnti drg cakap les pulak.tanak la aku yan.sian yus,sian bf aku.ahhaah

soalan 6 : kalau dia musuh awak?

i have her darkest secret remember??(wahaha*gelak setan)

soalan 7 : kalau dia kekasih awak, awak akan..

wahhh.yan,aku akan penuhi semua kehendak kau tak kira ape saje kau nak.nak naik cruise?hol kat bulan?katakan saja padaku..hahahaah

soalan 8 : kalau dia musuh awak, mungkin kerana..

aku rampas yus dari dia.ngehehehehhhhh!(dah lame dah niat ni ade)

soalan 9 : overall impression tentang dia.

SENGAL.

soalan 10 : the most desirable thing to do to her/him.

ohh.disebabkan yus jauh,jadi aku nak bawak die naik satu kapal ar ngan us.amacam babe?

soalan 11 : apa awak rasa pandangan orang terhadap awak?

tak betul,sengal,dan comel.heeh

soalan 12 : apakah sebenarnya perangai anda?

gila2,tak betul,suka men redah je.n i love breaking rules.:)

soalan 13 : perangai anda yang anda benci.
Im a procastinator.cant help it dude.

soalan 14 : orang yang anda ingin bersama.

family and loved ones.

soalan 15 : katakan sesuatu untuk orang-orang yang suka anda.

tersipu2 malu,sampai tak dapat berkata2.hee

soalan 16 : tag 5 orang..

urmm, NAS,MATSAN,MAYAM,AREP ELNOR,AMAD,MIRUL (ADE 6 TU=)

kejap je

2010-03-20T01:22:00.000-07:00

hectic life.im totally exhausted.

nak update blog pon takde mase.

kawan2,nnti ye..~

Good to know

2010-03-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

good to know

that u still care

that u still feel what i feel

that i still care

im still holding on.

the truth is...

2010-03-11T08:16:00.000-08:00

the truth is,im tired of all these drama and fucking lies. it's just killing me.why is it so hard for 2 people to be true to each other?having give and take in a relationship is a must,and it is the first rule to keep the bond tight till the end. we never be satisfied with what we have,even if it is right in front of our eyes,we'll just miss it and let it slip away.

the truth is,i'm not yet ready for a brand new relationship with anyone.the fear is just there,keeping an inch away from my happiness.is it wrong for me to be a little bit extra more careful than i am before?cuz i just don't wana be in the same situation for the 3rd time.2 is enough,and it does hurt like hell.

the truth is,i adore you.just every thought of you make me happy and i can slowly stand up again on my feet.but there is something that is keeping us away.our past. yes,like you said to me before,let bygone be bygone.but i can't seem to move on,yet.i don't know why.i keep on telling my self that it's over.but the thought of it wasn't. meeting you was fate,u said that 'i fell from the sky' the moment we met each other.and till now i'm still thinking 'WHY'.why did we met?what for?the wound on my heart still bleeds,and this' all happen so fast.

the truth is,sometimes i'm confused with my own feeling.i don't know how i feel,or what i feel about you and the thought of it just killing me.im so lost now.so help me find my way please,will you?i lost my faith in love.everything about it just an empty space filled with mere black holes.they will suck you in and you will never get out. im too coward to take the risk again. everything i fought for was a waste and now i am so tired of trying again.

the truth is, i don't want to be with you for the sake of loneliness.i want you because i want to.but that reason haven't come true yet. seeing you each day takes away my breath,sometimes you give me a reason to smile again.a reason to shine,and a reason to feel the rainbow glow up in the sky.

the truth is, you are the one who took my hands when i am falling.and i thank you for that.i wonder,maybe this is what they call DESTINY.but still,it is to early to fall for a conclusion.my life is waaaay too complicated for you to understand. and i'm afraid one day you might leave just like the rest of 'them'.

the truth is,im in a dilemma. im not sure of myself,what i want for now or how. im just lost.so lost.my heart is cold,and my world is not perfect. this fear will always bound me for quite sometime.

the truth is,you said you will wait.but im not sure.this is my problem.i can't trust anyone:(

the wall i build just too hard for u to penetrate trough. still,my heart is not ready

you said you will wait.

is that a promise?cuz i'm tired of another lie.

tumblr

2010-03-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

rainbowww!

2010-03-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

kadang2 terasa susah nak bertahan,utk tetap kekal menjadi seorang yang kuat. kadang2 aku terjatuh,tapi lepas tu bangun semula.kadang2 terjatuh tak dapat berdiri langsung. the truth is aku still struggle to get over this.perit,penat. macam-macam usaha aku dah cuba,tapi tetap balik semula to where i begin. aku nak mengeluh sampai berpeluh.haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssshhhhhhhh!

seksa,sakit hati.sbb benda tu,aku dah tak percaya banyak perkara.sorry,bukan skrg masanya untuk aku lalui semua ni sekali lagi.tersangatla perit,sampaikan aku hilang kepercayaan terhadap perkataan keramat tu.bukan takat bnd tu aje,sume bnd aku dah slowly loose hope.kesian,sbb org lain,sume dapat penangannya.

bosanlah,tolong jangan ganggu hidup aku lagi.masalah korang berdua bukan masalah aku,dan takde kaitan langsung.aku dah lama lepaskan dia,kau nak sangat,kenapa tolak balik kat aku pulak?dulu nak berebut sgt.haish.tak paham aku.semakla,aku tak kacau hidup korang pon.lantaklah ape masalah korang.i dont WANA care.

terasa hidup ni kembali ceria. there is always light at the end of the tunnel. im so glad. akhirnya pelangi baru datang, terasa semangat sikit untuk tempuhi hari2 mendatang.thanks for brighten up my days wahai pelangi.macam tak percaya je.this broken heart will heal one day.trust me.

"im not a second fucking choice"

hahah.

Sunshine and rainbow

2010-03-09T03:05:00.000-08:00

there is always light at the end of the tunnel

and the rainbow always shine

after the rain stops

the sun awaits

to light the path

for those who are eager to try.

i found a new hope

a new beginning.

it's time to cheer up

and live for every seconds of it.

life is full of surprises

thank you

for making my day brighter.

kopitiam;)

e-ducete

2010-03-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

mari kita bercerita serba sedikit mengenai topik 'pendidikan'. malas sudah menggunakan bahasa omputeh sebagai medium perbualan.sekali sekala ingin mengasah bakat bertutur bahasa ibunda yang semakin lama dilupakan.ahahah.kadangkala aku hairan,anak-anak melayu berlagak mereka orang amerika.kalau nak bercakap,you and i saja.katanya lebih mesra.ahh.kepala hotak kau la.

1st impression buat mereka,baru kenal,bersembang di ym."watcha doin?nothin much.bla3..." dari awal perbualan hingga ke akhirnya,tuturan kata mat saleh.'Salam' tu dilupakan.diganti dengan "hye","woi",dan "buzz".parah macam ni. bukan nak mengata,sedangkan aku sendiri jurusan behasa inggeris tak pernah nak meninggikan diri.kalau nak berkenalan pun,aku lebih selesa kau dan aku.bukan i atau u.geli lah sebenarnya.mana taknya,budak2 TESL dicop sebagai belagak,bajet bagus,attention seeker dan sebagainya.rata2 kebanyakan mereka begitu.siapa yang makan cili,dia terasa pedasnya.hahah.asal nak bercakap saje,'speaking english please cuz i sound silly when i speak malay.',podahhcitt.tak payah laa nak berlagak.cukuplah merendahkan diri,langit tu tinggi tau.tak perlu jadi poser.

ahh.lagi parah bila tengok orang berlagak pandai.istilah tepat-"bodoh sombong".sedar2lah kemampuan diri tu,tak payah nak berlagak kau tu bajet bagus.buat orang menyampah.pandang pon orang tanak.lagi dipersendakan adelah.buat apa nak menunjuk?untuk dapatkan sanjungan?tidak sama sekali.hanya hinaan yang kau dapat.malu kan,bila anak melayu berterabur bahasa ibundanya.aku pun terasa.iya,aku akui agak lemah dalam bahasa ibunda,tapi tak pernah sampai ke tahap ingin berbicara kata kata barat sepanjang masa.tak perlulah 'speaking2' sakan dengan aku.aku tak suka.lagi pun,bingit telinga.

mari2 kita sambung cerita utama,keluarkan idea2 bernas.biar minda produktif serba serbi.mari kita cari akar umbi permasaalahan ini.kadang2 kecewa,melihat tenaga pengajar di negara kita,di sekolah mahupun institusi tinggi yang sambil lewa dan ambil mudah tentang tanggungjawab mereka. tugas sebagai pendidik bukan mudah,makan gaji?tidak sama sekali.tapi aneh,bila kebanyakan pendidik mengambil mudah.asal habis saja silibus,kerja mereka settle.goyang kaki,enjoy.belajar tinggi-tinggi,tapi akhirnya seperti buku kosong.dimana silapnya?

sukar sekali bagi kita sebagai pelajar untuk bertemu dengan seseorang 'pendidik' yang betul2 'mendidik'.dalam kata lain "they put their heart and soul into it". kasihan,kerna minat dan "passion" untuk mendidik itu tidak ada dalam kamus hidup mereka. kadang kala aku cemburu terhadap pemikiran barat terhadap sistem pendidikan mereka. Anatole France once said,"The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.terbukti bukan?sudah tentu konsep behaviourism,imperialism,essentialism,parennialism dan sebagainya tidak akan wujud.

Henry Von Dyke has said about teachers and teaching, “Ah! There you have the worst paid and the best rewarded of vocations. Do not enter it unless you love it. For the vast majority of men and women, I sing the praise of the unknown teacher, king of himself and leader of the mankind.”

lihat dan fahami.bukan calang2 insan boleh menceburi bidang ni.tapi hampa,rata2 mereka yang diberi peluang tidak menghargai. mereka yang dilatih khas sebagai pendidik tidak mempunyai minat mendalam untuk menjadi seorang pendidik. hanya melepaskan batuk ditangga. tak hairanlah warga pelapis pemimpin negara menjadi haru biru.

lihat saja sistem pendidikan barat,mereka diberi pilihan dan kebebasan untuk mencari minat mereka tersendiri,tidak ada paksaan. mengapa?kerna mereka sebuah negara maju. negara ketiga seperti Malaysia hanya perlu fokus pada bidang tertentu bagi melahirkan warga profesional.doktor,engineer,dan beberapa lagi nama "gah" sudah tentu mendapat sanjungan. inilah diskriminasi yang sebenarnya. there is a certain par or level to measure and judge people.if you are not good enough then you are out.people seek money in everything they do,not the satisfaction behind the yellow line.

as a future teachers and educators,i believe that if you do believe in your own ability to shape the future,you completed your task.however,teaching and learning doesn't end,it is a continuous process. each and everyone is special,and it is our job to bring out the best in them.

*ohho.kelas2.nantilah aku sambung merepek.hahaha.

Seminggu.

2010-03-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

Genap seminggu hirisan luka diberi.masih lagi terasa sakitnya yg mendalam.agak bergelut sedikit-demi sedikit tentang nilai-nilai keikhlasan,kejujuran,dan kekecewaan. mungkin agak payah untuk aku meletakkan sepenuh kepercayaan lepas ni.al maklumlah,dah 2 kali benda sama berlaku.tapi it's okay.this is what we call 'asam garam kehidupan'. there's always some ups and down. we learnt from our experience and made the best out of it.

recovery process?ermm..sometime it's hard,but most of the time i just let it go.sudah sudahlah,bak kate orang.benda dah jadi.kita sebagai manusia mencuba yang terbaik.kalau tak dapat,ade hikmah disebaliknya.telan saja,tak pon muntahkan semua.aku malas mengenang benda2 tak patut yang buat hati sakit.part2 yg baik kita simpan.buruk2tu buang jauh2 dalam laut mati nun.

seminggu,lepastu sebulan,stengah tahun,satu tahun,dua tahun,lama2 okay.tak gitu?ahh.menipu.sakit tu akan kekal sampai bila2.adeehh.betul kan?tapi sebab sakit tu la buat kita jadik kuat.dah dapat satu jalan baru,a reason to live.ohh.anda tak tau camne rasanya,kekejaman kalah hitler. first couple days tak dapat tido.asal lelap saje mate BANG! memori flashback datang.siot betul time tu.rasa cam nak makan bantal tu kasi hanco.tapi,tu sume cerita 'time tu'.

sekarang,ohh.segalanya pulih seperti biasa. tak ade lagi mengenang kisah2 indah bersama,bahkan memori tu dah terkunci rapi dalam ingatan.segalanya tentang anda membuatkan saya rasa malas.janji terakhir untuk ditunaikan,tak jugak kunjung tiba.kad tu juga tak sampai.hanya satu memori indah tentang kejujuran anda diperlukan,kad tu.tapi takpelah.sudah penat menanti dan menunggu saban hari tentang janji anda.kalau rasa patut,buat apa anda takut?

benci tatkala anda menyatakan rindu' saya.untuk apa?stop hurting people please. kata2 anda berduri.baik saja simpan daripada diluahkan.biarlah saya tak tau tentang anda,perasaan anda.membuatkan saya tersiksa. u made the choice,so stop it. tidak adil buat pihak sebelah sana bukan?biar lah,dia nak sangat berebut.hanya idiots berperilaku keanak-anakkan sedemikian.

rasa kasihan.bila umur masing2 sudah boleh digelar dewasa,tetapi pemikiran remaja hingusan. ada cara lebih diplomasi,lebih baik dari menyimpan seribu persoalan.menikam dari belakang. kita bukan orang barat berlagak diktator.lihat siapa bagus dia menang.bukan sebegitu. pandang jauh kehadapan.dunia ini bukan sukar untuk difahami.

part yang baik,ini satu lagi pengajaran buat saya.supaya lebih berhati2 dengan makhluk bernama manusia.sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit..tahniah buat anda,berjaya melakar satu lagi sejarah dlam kehidupan saya.bukan calang2 insan mampu berbuat demikian. saya hanya mampu tersenym dan berdoa,moga anda juga mampu gembira.

tidak pernah ada dendam buat anda.ntah mengapa kesalahan tu diletakkan di pihak si dia',yg kini menjadi pilihan anda.tak sngka kamu wahai wanita sanggup berpura2 baik.mmaf,tiada niat buruk sewaktu kamu ingin berkawan,tapi tak pernah menyangka kamu sebegitu keji.iya.keji.demi kepentingan sendiri,kamu sanggup menggunakan cara paling kotor sekali.psycho.itu gelaran terbaik.jika anda membaca,sedarlah wahai wanita.jangan jadi hina.

iya,saya masih marah.tersangat marah.apa salah untuk hati ini bersuara??supaya kamu tahu apa maksud 'menghargai'.bosanlah.mengapa tentang kamu saya yg menerima padahnya?
ahh.menyakitkan jiwa saja bercerita tentang duka.baik lupakan semua dan mulakan rencana baru.mereka berkata seribu bahasa,senyuman mungkin zahir dibibir,tapi hati merana kesakitan.hanya tuhan saja yang tahu.

apa yang anda rasa?mungkin satu hari nanti dapat difahami.saya hanya mendoakan yang terbaik buat anda.radit dan jani itu kisah kita.the sigit provocateur itu lagu saya.bukan untuk diberikan buat tatapan semua.hanya kau dan aku.dengarlah dengan mata hati.bukan ikutan hati.

masa berlalu hari demi hari.ibarat istana pasir di tepian pantai,pasti akan musnah jua.lama kelamaan akan terpadam juga dari ingatan.biarlah masa menjadi pengubat segalanya.

kini saya bisa berdiri kembali.liku2 hidup hanyalah mainan dunia.'sometimes people leave because they have no more reason to stay".iya,anda hanyalah persinggahan untuk mengajar saya tentang lumrah hidup.terima kasih buat satu pengajaran yang bermakna.
sudah tentu akan menjadi panduan hidup kelak.

moga anda bahagia,sihat sentiasa,berjaya mencapai apa dicita. tentang yang lain,biarlah anda tentukan.hidup anda,pilihan anda. tetapi ingat,never surrender before you fight. saya hanya mampu tersenyum tiap kali melihat anda.mungkin satu hari nanti.

hidup terasa lebih aman dan ceria.kawan2 sentiasa ada disisi menemani.untung menjadi kesukaan ramai.kawan2 sehidup semati,itu yang sukar dicari. setiap bnda yg dilakukan,terasa lebih nikmat.walaupun hanya menghirup udara segar sudah cukup membuat hati girang.buka mata seluas-luasnya,dunia ini indah sebenarnya,hanya kita yang buta.

changes for the better.

2010-03-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

untuk seseorang yang dikenang:

1st of all i wana apologize for my inappropriate behaviour since the day our relationship ended.yup at 1st memang agak susah utk trima kenyataan but now i realized that things happen for a good reason.im sorry for being mad and angry with you.i guess that my action was way too hard on you. but,you left me with no choice rite?i'm not satisfied and there is a lot of questions, i need an answer.but it doesn't matter now.just let it go.

yes,yes,anda sangat 'kejam',tapi benda dah jadi bukan?so lebih baik kita lupakan saje and teruskan hidup.i have so many reason to smile and be happy. i am on my way to happiness,tapi amik masa untuk luka ni sembuh sepenuhnya.u should know better.

jangan risaukan saya.i'm strong remember?too strong.i get over this already,and trust me,i feel good. sad part?adela sikit.tapi as i said,tak berbaloi utk diingati kerna menyakitkan lagi hati. saya mahu anda juga gembira seperti insan2 lain. dan sudah tentu saya tak kejam.lepaskanlah semua ya?tak ada sebab untuk kita berdendam atau menyimpan ape2.just that i don't care anymore.

i want my card. that's the only reason i still hold on to u.my one and only wish,i need it BADLY,saya janji takkan buang benda tu.please,give me something good to remember.nak tunggu tahun depan,macam kad tu ade lagi je.nanti letak mane2 hilang cane?kempunan la jadinya.tak baik kan?tolong eh.

i hope u are happy too.esp with ur gf.:)

saya dah tak mampu nak marah lagi.i'm done wasting enough time.hope that one day u will just REALIZE.

don't miss me.u killed that part remember?.
i just need the card pleaase.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dear friends,

life is so much better now.i'm trying new things,got back in the studio,somehow i found back my strenght to do things that i like.ohh,skrg berjinak2 dengan aktiviti di luar jangkauan minda.so basically jadual sangat penuh.dah lame tak buat benda2 camtu.rasa berminat pulak sbb ade geng baru.hehe.

dunia ni kecik je kan?i met a few people who i never thought i cud met b4.haha.so nway.thats all.

buat anda,

lupakan lah semua ni ya.fokus pada hidup anda sekarang.u made that choice.jgn dikesalkan.semoga berjaya.:))

thanks for the provocateur.listen closely.

currently addicted to this song

2010-03-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Alicia Keys

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me

And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time, you were telling me lies

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me, need me?
I thought you told me you'd never leave me

Looking in the sky, I can see your face
And then I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you
Right 'til the end

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream, I'll just hold on to love
And I can find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

what i'm doing?

2010-02-27T02:57:00.000-08:00

i'm done.i'm done and i'm done.

you are gonna get the fuck out of my head,and that wasn't hard at all.

i'm not gonna let you take me down,this is my game,and hell yeah,i lost. lets see.you think i do care?nop.the fact is that i gave up because i'm done wasting enough of my time trying to convince you and your whole crew about us.that just won't work. i swore to my self that i am not going to EVEN trying to get back to you,cuz you are just not worth it. perfectly you matched each other.and i'm glad that one day you are gonna hurt as much as i do. there's always a price to pay.

look,at first when u did this to me,i saw that one day 'this' thing is coming.i did expected it. but the only reason i am so surprised,is that the reason WHY u made that choice.i thought that you can stand up on your self and fight for your right.but again,i was wrong. why on earth that you always have to lean on other?u are a big man,grown up like me,but your self are still trapped in your own tiny minds.

remember,i have been in this situation before.2 years ago,the same thing did happened. i found my way back to get up again on my feet. and yes,it did taught me a great lesson on my own. i have become much wiser and much stronger that i ever expected. i know i'll be allright.someday,somehow. but u,i'm not so sure.

yes,the memories are great,but they are just not worth to be remembered. i got nothing to loose, and it's the most flattering part of all. you know i'll be doing great now and then, and now that YOU are not my problem and never will. i just don't bother to care at all about you.

i'm ready to live my life to the fullest. the world has so much to offer, and things just getting better day by day. this ring,i'm gonna wear to remember how far i have go,and how much strong i am. i am not ashamed of myself,i am proud to be Ainu Shazwani.

you are gonna regret,and spending your whole time thinking about me. trust me,you do.

and that,is the best revenge i can have,ever.

to my dear friends,who are always there by my side,you mean the world to me.

move

2010-02-26T09:13:00.000-08:00

"im done wasting my time trying to get over you.

im moving the fuck on."

hadiah besday terbaik.

2010-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

saya ditinggalkan kekasih hati

pada hari lahir saya sendiri.

ini hadiah paling bermakna.

terima kasih.

i stay up till 4 am in the morning everyday

just to accompany u n make u smile.

:"(

but i guess that wasn't enough.

MY NAME IS KHAN

2010-02-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

i HAHAHA!aku dah layan muvie nie ngan ilah tadi.yes3!

best,gua kasi 4 bintang~

ternyata pelakon veteran gak yg best.

SRK n kajol ttp menawan hatiku.

tak rugi tgk,sila2.

pergilah ke pawagam yg berhampiran.

p/s:wlupon bday aku belum tiba lagi,ramai yg dah wish,

terima kasih banyak2.

buat anak2 murid yang masih lagi ingat akan cikgu korang ni,merci!

buat yg dah plan macam2 nak kenakan aku,sorilah,tak dapat.heee

buat rakan2 yg turut meyambut besday,selamat naik tua.

sekian;p

abah buat kuey teaw kung fu yg sangat sedap.

best la abah ni.haha

2010-02-22T04:33:00.000-08:00

tumblr

2010-02-22T02:44:00.000-08:00

cik yan aja aku.

saje suka2.

sila lewati:

http://adeakukisah.tumblr.com/

aku punya suka la.

believe

2010-02-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

'Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.'

'Memories are what you have, when you've lost everything else. Dreams are what you have, when you forget the memories. And bliss is what you have when you give up both.'

oh i just loooove all these quotes! can't help it tho,to mend my broken heart.sometimes you wished,but they will never be granted,sometimes you hoped,but they will never be fulfilled, sometimes,u get the best of both worlds.

its not easy,trust me."you won't understand love until you get hurt"-that saying is totally true. i had couple of friends who are in the same shoes as i am.i can tell them what to do and what not to do.but when it comes to my own self,i got nothing to say.the words just won't come out.

trust me,for my dear paklang,there's nothing that annoys us the most than the word 'wait'.

i know,but this time you must made it.we walked too far now to turn things back,just take the risk and move on with it.i know u can,i do.so just trust urself,believe.

dear you,

i still remember the day when i opened up my eyes,and i saw u by my side.we stare at the starry night sky together,shared our childhood memories,we laughed,we cried,and yet this bond was still so strong. we made vows and promises that we never forget, we hold on to our faith,our future,and what made us so brave.we are both a fighter,and we are still. so don't ever loosing your hopes,DON'T ever loosing your will. 'hold on to the bright light..'

i am right here,and i'm not going anywhere.

quote 4

2010-02-21T04:49:00.001-08:00

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

quote 3

2010-02-21T04:44:00.004-08:00

“May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten.”-irish quotes

...

2010-02-20T04:55:00.000-08:00

To fall in love is awfully simple,

but to fall out of love is simply awful.

A life with love will have some thorns,

but a life without love will have no roses.

Reject your sense of injury

and the injury itself disappears.

The greatest pain that comes from love

is loving someone you can never have.

Trying to forget someone you love

is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

The stupidest mistake in life

is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again.

The way to love anything is

to realize that it might be lost.

Love is unconditional, relationships are not.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

quote 2

2010-02-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

Wahai wanita2 solehah.jgn risau akan jodohmu..krn muslimin yg bijaksana itu, tidak akan terpaut pd wanita hnya pd kecantikan semata2..Sesungguhnya lelaki itu adalah pemimpinmu, andai blm sampai jodohmu anggaplah bhw lelaki yg engkau nantikan itu sdg membina sahsiah kepimpinannya bg memimpin dirimu..krn pd wanita itu ......pasti ada kekurangannya & lelaki yang benar2 layak pasti akan hadir utk melengkapkan kekuranganmu”-sumber tak dinyatakan.

quotes 1

2010-02-18T06:41:00.002-08:00

"forgiving n accepting d truth are best cure after time."-amar arafat

we are broken-paramore

2010-02-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry
with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me
Yeah

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again
cause we just wanna be whole

Lock the doors
Cause I'd like to capture this voice
That came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again
cause we just wanna be whole

Tower over me
Tower over me

And don't take the truth at any cost

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again
cause we just wanna be whole

looking for a star

2010-02-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

i'm looking for a star

to shine trough my way

and light up my path.

you're somehow hidden in the dark

let me find you pls.

Upcoming 21st birthday

2010-02-06T02:22:00.000-08:00

dah masuk bulan 2,fyi,bulan birthday aku.hehehehehehehe.*senyum lebar je. maseh buat kgkwn yg dah prepare nak membelanja aku,aku tak mintak pon,alahai,korang ni baik sgt lah...huhuu.

so cam entry yg cik AZYAN buat pasal what i want on my birthday tu,aku pon rase cam nak buat.tapi bnd2 ni bukan nak time birthday je.mmg nak sesangat laaa.cume takde rezki je lagi nak dapek satu.huuhu:(

dah lamo dah den bokonan ngan minyak wangi keluaran Dior ni. J'ADORE.bau die perghhh,menusuk kalbu..sampai skg tu pefume terbaik yang aku minat. tapi tiap kali nak beli je..mesti tak kesampaian...cam aritu nak beli pefume..takde pulak Dior J'adore ni..so terpaksa la amik brand lain..sob3......so,buat korang2,ape kate carikan kat aku satu?wahahahahahahaha*(evil laugh) dah jadik tak malu cam yan.
huuhu.jgn mare beb. kidding je.ahaks.

ni lagi satu,buat aku cukup bengang,sakit ati,jeles sampai tahap nak makan kaki. klu org lain skg gile ngan camera DLSR yang gitu-gitu ala2 photographer but mostly posers, aku gilakan this Fujifilm Instant Camera. alaaa,ala2 camera besar gedabak dulu2 tu,but thanks to fujifilm benda ni derang ubahsuai tu a brand new look.thank god!

wat i like is pic die kua instant,so tak payah2 la anda nak ke kedai print gambo2 sume tu,wat penat je.huu. aku pon ske kumpul2 pics in a scrap book.totally a good way for someone like me.cewah.;p

so kpd budak2 yg share bday bulan 2 same like me esp for AZAM, i wana WISH YOU HAPPY 21ST BDAY!~~~ dah makin tua dah kita ni kan,huh,dah layak ngundi pon...so ape lagi..sedo2 la diri..hehe.yg penting live your life to the fullest,coz aging is a precious experience.

jangan lupa bday aku 25 HARIBULAN.ngeh3.

thank 'you'.

a letter to you.

2010-01-28T20:50:00.000-08:00

dear you,

i hope that u understand,the reason why i am doing such things. i didn't mean to hurt you,or even betray our relationship. that is not what i intend to, but sometimes u cant fix those mistakes that we made, those holes just too deep to be plastered with happiness alone. we can't pretend that there's nothing happened and we can't simply forget each other. i know its hard,it's hurting,the pain and agony u been trough is a lot for u to bear. i'm sorry,but there's no other way. sometimes,u can't mend a broken pieces, but you can made something out of it.

trust me,it's REALLY hard for me to let u go. i cried and cried over and over again thinking about it and it just won't go away. at some point i blamed you for losing him, i'm scared enough to admit it was my fault actually,so i put the burden on you. but now i realize, he's gone. i am the idiot who won't accept the real fact. time flies so quickly, it has been 3 years now since my heart was shattered brutally, and i finally moving on. this time,it was real. i get over him,and i'm glad that he taught me a lesson. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be where i'm standing now. i finally get to smile.

4 years, is a long time. but i guess i waste it all just like that. the first year was sweet and full of happiness, but the rest 3 years, is where god really put us on to the test. frankly speaking, i do regret that 3 years. i spend the whole time searching my way to forget the old ones, but i can't. i'd left you,ignored u the whole time, but you still stood there for me even when i'm falling apart. you're the one i'd reach my hands for and walk me tru the nite. but i was young and naive, i'm blinded by the pain,and i let you be a part of it. i know,that this was our fault, i had my flaws and so do you.

i am jealous that you pay a lot of your attention to her rather than me. you did so much for her, but not for me. it consumes me when i think about it. like i said,sometimes you can't just fix evrything. i can't forget bout her and u. until now,i'm still watching every moves she made even though you guys were trough. i guess that's the reason why i'm so mad at you and still couldn't put my trust on you. 1 mistake, and it ruined the whole picture. you blamed me for losing her,and i blamed you for losing him, so what's the point exactly? we are just two people who broke each other's heart so deep and hope that we could fix it with a simple magic. i wasn't like that. it is way complex and much harder. to put a trust on your partner was not an easy things to do.especially when something did go wrong in the past. we will just keep playing games on each other and pretending that everything's okay.

i did love you before, but the feelings slowly faded away. don't pretend that you're okay, and i know you are not a good faker. you can't just simply forgive me after what happened. you are not a robot. i know you too well that i can feel you world is falling apart. but this is the best way. i'm not taking another chance,another risk going on trough the same pain. enough is enough. we both deserves to be happy, but we don't deserves each other. the best way is to part at this point before it's too late.

'i had so many dreams about you and me, happy ending, but now i know that is ain't a fairy tale..'

'perfect couldn't keep this love alive..'

'you know that i love you so, i love you enough to let you go.'

i do hope that someday,somehow, we manage to find our happiness. it's killing me to watch u go. but now its time to let go.thank you, thank you, thank you. i'l be missing you.

yours sincerely,

A.s.

Let’s produce more smart teachers

2010-01-24T20:06:00.001-08:00

In the first progress report on theNational Education Blueprint 2006-2010, Education Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein proudly announced that More than 27% or 4,639 education-related infrastructure projects under the Ninth Malaysia Plan (9MP) have either been completed or are being implemented and the other 12,096 projects were at the planning stage.

The government has allocated a huge sum of RM23bil for the various development projects to upgrade our schools.This must be spent wisely to achieve the intended target.The Minister’s plans to give priority to rural schools should also be commended.In fact the large amount of money spent should benefit ALL not just a few favoured groups.

The highlights of the plan as revealed are 1.Narrowing the education gap 2.accelerating education excellence 3.Making schools smart and ICT initiatives 4.Strengthning the teaching profession and 5.Developing the human capital.

While all these are ideals and need our support for their success, we should not overlook the single most important factor that is vital for producing students with the right values, knowledge and skills that would make them not just successful but useful citizens in the future.This is the only way to rid of all the ills that plague our nation today.

This factor is the teacher-student relationship.

The role of the teacher on the ground is the most important factor that contributes to the success of our education. Every effort should be made to cultivate a healthy teacher-student relationship as this is the basic unit for character building in our young school children.

We may spend billions of ringgit to build modern state of art schools. We may be able to equip them with all the sophisticated gadgets and facilities but if we do not have the proper teacher-student interaction, all our efforts will go to waste.

To cultivate such a favourable relationship between teachers and students we need teachers with a more professional attitude to their job, based on ethics and not sentiments and emotions. Apart from parents, the teacher is the next most important person who has the opportunity to develop and mold the character of our children, who are in their custody from a very young age.

Our children today are plagued with numerous problems – indiscipline, drug abuse, disrespect for elders and authority, truancy,Mat Rempit,violent behaviour,immoral and promiscuous activities. Most of these vicious behaviour have their origin in an uncaring and indifferent attitude of teachers towards their students, resulting in a poor teacher-student relationship. It is not uncommon these days for students to be absent from school for days at a stretch without being noticed by the teacher.

I still remember as children in the sixties and seventies, there were many teachers whom we idolized. We admired the way they carried out their duties impartially and the great passion they had in teaching and guiding us. Many among us opted to be teachers ourselves because of their exemplary behavior. It is a great pity that our children today hardly have teachers whom they can look up to as role models.

I agree times have changed and life has become more materialistic. We have succeeded in developing the nation to great heights physically. Sadly instead of holding steadfast to cherished values and principles, we have lost them all in the name of development and nation building.

It is time to re-examine the basic functional unit of our education system – the attitude and performance of our teachers in their interaction with their pupils. Let us look at it rationally and recognize the flaws therein and take appropriate steps to remedy it.

What we are in dire need is not excellent and sophisticated infrastructure in the form of smart schools, vision schools or cluster schools but rather SMART teachers and headmasters to guide our children.

masa demi masa,pengorbanan demi pengorbanan=hasilnya?0.

2010-01-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

suck,fuck.

aku betul2 marah.

suke2 hati je mulut tu,nak ckp ape kau suke.

at least i wana respect you.

but now nothing left.

u killed everything.

i hate you now.

when once i hope i wasn't.

fine,but it's not a game,

pull and push

and you loose.

i thought i knew u

but i was wrong.

you thought u knew me?

well 4 years seems like it wasn't enough.

this is not a good ending.

trouble is a friend

2010-01-11T22:20:00.000-08:00

kali ni masalah yg sgt besar,and the worst thing ever happened is that i can't find the solution to this matter.all of my thoughts are cramped and yet tangled up,my mind is going nuts. too many things im thinking about,what made it worst is that no one can help me.

i got to this mess on my own. i lit the fire burning,i am the one who provoke it. and now there's no turning back. i wish i could change it all, i wish i could make it all right again,i wish,i wish and i wish.

but there's nothing i can do now. i watch my self get burn,and the pain slowly running to every inch of my veins. somehow i do regret this.somehow i don't.

but part of myself somehow feel so hopeless without it. i lot quite a huge part of my life and now i'm kinda torn apart.i'm searching for the bright light,the truth and the right way to do this. it's like a drug, i need it no matter what. but there's always a price to pay. this time,it doubled the interest.

"take it,or leave it."- the strokes.

it is hard,trust me. it is. no matter how had i tried,how fast i ran,and endlessly i tried to escape, i ALWAYS fall back to where i begin. i'm sick and tired of all this. but somehow my actions are far beyond my limitations.

i wish i could have one more chance. but sometimes mistakes are the one who made us wiser. we fall, we learnt,and we live. sometimes we move on,and leave the past behind. sometimes we stay,but change for the better. sometimes it doesn't make any difference at all.

which one?let the time decide.

but i ain't give up this fight.

'You’ve been shouting for your right
You are losing all your sight
Hold on to the bright light
His might tonight

Don’t wanna sleep too tight
Don’t wanna give up all my fight
Hold on to the bright light
His might tonight'

- provocateur by the SIGIT

I remember.

2010-01-06T01:28:00.000-08:00

in memory

you and me

2006-2010

always and forever

be here.

ABET.

because of you,

i'l be strong.

thanks for the memory.

honesty is the best policy

2010-01-04T07:57:00.000-08:00

the truth hurts.

always.

no matter how much u tried

the heart is too fragile.

sometimes the truth is what you want to hear

but when you heard it

you wish u never knew.

it's breaking my heart

i am happy

i am smiling

i am free

i am satisfied.

the past will always be the past

no matter how hard u tried

the wound just won't heal.

i am afraid

the fact that sometimes

my imagination wonder wild

the fact someday he'l be happy too

but with someone else.

learn to let go.

cuz for each smile

there're tears to be sacrify.

2010,2009.

2009-12-31T06:41:00.000-08:00

cepat betul masa berlalu,tuptap2,dan nak masuk tahun baru,2010.rasanya cam belum bersedia nak tinggalkan tahun 2009 yang byk memori ni.haishh..

all things happen with a reason,so yang mana baik kita amk dan simpan,yang buruk kita buang jauh2,buat jadi pengalaman dan pengajaran.life is short,so take it in and suck it up.

next year,im turning into 21.such a huge number with a lot of meaning.and not to forget,responsibilities.ya3,lagi banyak beban nak dipikul di bahu ni.lagi macam2 ujian dari tuhan,mcam2 halangan.hasih,ready ke nk tempuhi semua tu?hidup yang sentiasa mencabar ni,kalau tak kuat,tersungkur jatuh la kite.

tak lama lagi sem baru dah nak mula, kali ni amik 8 subejek pulak. 8.ong ka?kite tgk cane nnti,kalau result bagus,oke.kalau tak, 'qi si'=pergi mati.hoho.

new year resolution??BANYAKKK.

tak tau nak mula dari mana,tak tau.so aku nak spit it out all over the place.kasi messy sikit.yaks.

1.nak maintain pointer.

penting nih,sangat penting.kalo tak,tak dapat la aku nak keje yang best2 nnti.huuu~

2. nak naikkan berat badan.

isu hangat yg sentiasa jadi bualan ramai.i dont mind about it as long as im healthy and happy.

dari 'mereka2' yang makan banyak n then complain itu ini.

okay,nak sambung,tapi aku malas sgt.new year resolution akan bersambung.....nak layan movie lorr.al-maklum,ade 'cinema' kat rumah.hehe

happy new year,welcome 2010~!

Menyampah,menyirap.bek minum sirap,sedap.

2009-12-26T12:49:00.001-08:00

memang aku pantang.

cukup buat menyirap darah ni

bila gaduh saje,nak tutup phone.

c'on la,budak2 tak matang je buat benda tu.

dah besar panjang,ade problem setel terus.

bukan nak lari2 tunjuk ego.

banyak sangat ke ego kau tuh?

boleh dapat duit kalau simpan?

memang aku marah.

bila dah beso panjang belagak cam budak-budak.

dah umo 20 tahun blagak cam 17.

yang umo 17 belagak cam 20.

sedar2la diri tuh.

matang lah sikit.

tak payah nak belagak

bila kau pandai speaking

konon kau tu mat salleh

sedangkan bm pon tak lepas.

tak payah nak menunjuk sane sini

kau anak orang kaye ke

sultan ke dato ke

ape aku kisah?

kau manusia jugak.

tak payah nak menunjuk

kau ade itu ini.

konon duit kau banyak

aku naik menyampah.

tak payah nak belagak

nak jadi bongkak

nak jadi riak

sedangkan habuk pon tadak.

Rutin harian kini.game.

2009-12-24T01:18:00.001-08:00

hoho.aku malas nak update.malas nak online.malas segala-galanya.

sebab aku dah jumpe hobi baru yg akan bertahan buat sementara waktu.

men guitar hero kat ps. bialah,aku ketinggalan ke ape ke,memang game tu dah lame wujud,cume takde peluang nak main.

kali ni satu set full,ape lagi.bgn pagi game,tghari game,petang game,malam game.game,game,dan game.

mama dah naik menyampah dengan kerenah aku.telinga dah mula bingit.

jadi hari nie rehat kejap,tunjuk baik.hoho

wahai game,aku rase aku dah boleh men mode expert nanti.

dan kepada kengkawan,saya tidak akan ke rtw.malaslah,tapi siapa tau last min change plan ke.

oh.hari ni jom kita cerita pasal si dia.buat pengetahuan anda semua saya kini mempunyai insan baru dalam hidup.masih dalam prosess menyesuaikan diri sebab dah terbiasa sendiri. jom saya cerita serba serbi tentang si dia.

berumur 23 tahun dan baru je habis belajar dari UPSI dalam bidang MUZIK.(cikgu muzik lagi?)hoh.merupakan seorang yg sangat baik hati.rasenyelah.mempunyai rasa cemburu yang agak kuat dan meminati segala benda yang saya minat,agak annoying bila citarasa kami sama.tapi takpe,'sokay' bak kata dia. part yang penting,dia minat barang vintage sama seperti saya.dan dia memiliki sebuah jentera dua roda ol'skul yang saya inginkan,demm.kami bertemu melalui layar internet,dimana si dia sudah berada didalam list ym saya selama 2 tahun,tapi kami tak pernah bertegur sapa.akhirnya,pada suatu hari,saya ditegur oleh si dia berkenaan soalan recording.dan disitulah kisah bermula.cont..sambung sendiri,paham2lah ye.

okay,end of story.terima kasih buat azyan dan safwa yang banyak memberi kata-kata pedas kepada saya.saya benci anda sebenarnya.haha.mwaaah!

ohhhhyaaaaa,baru tahu,ada orang men-delete saya dari friend list dia.haha.tak apa.tak apa.

"ade aku kisah?" tapi kisah sebenarnya.ape2 pon.lantak kaulah.

cerita Avatar tak best.mengarut,tapi grafik cantek.tapi tetap mengarut.haha.

jom layan bowling kat selayang mall lagi baik.

ohho.mata dh naik mengantuk ni.apa kata aku tido dulu.dah,brambos.

VINTAGE SHOP

2009-12-18T08:51:00.000-08:00

COME AND DROP BY

MY 1ST EVER

ONLINE BOUTIQUE

AND DO SUPPORT!

thanks!

*nukilan khas buat insan teristimewa.

2009-12-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

saat pertama bertemu

hati terpaku melihat kamu

kelu madah bicara

mungkinkah dia yg ku tunggu

gelora getaran rasa

saat dikau tiada bersama

berombak mainan jiwa

memainkan lagu rindu

saat ini hatiku

hanya ada padamu

tetaplah kau tegar disini

kerna aku setia menanti.

hole in one

2009-12-16T04:36:00.000-08:00

pernahkah anda merasa hati dilukai?

pernahkah anda merasa hampa?

pernahkan anda merasa penantian hanya sia-sia?

segala usaha anda selama ini hancur lebur.

terasa bagai dipanah petir.

have u ever made a big mistake

that could change your life

in a fraction of a second?

when there's no turning back

there's no turning back.

you can only glance at the past

and cross your finger.

sometimes pain is the essence of happiness.

tears that came out with lots of reason

and there's always story to tell.

you can always write a history

fill those emptiness

maybe new joy

will make its way to you.

open your heart young girl

make a room of spaces

for him to fill it in.

try to smile.

pain,pain,go away,dont you ever come again,

even for another day.

only time can tell.

2009-12-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

i'm going to perak tomorrow morning unitl 13th,

then by the 14th im off to johor.

on 18th-20th, i'll be at fraser hill for family vacay.

and lastly on 26th,rtw, to be with mi amigos.

gone with the wind.

looking for adventures and serenity.

this is a terrific ending for 2009.

bye2 old memories,

hello new world.

teaser for my boutique is coming soon.

bookmark here people.

mama,dimana kamu?:'(

2009-11-29T19:34:00.000-08:00

sedih,hiba.

sedang menanti kepulangan ibu tercinta.

mane la mama aku pegi ni?

tak balik2 lagi.

raya aritu pon tanpa dia.

oh my god,i hope nothing bad happened to her.

my mom went to hadnyai last monday,

supposedly return back to msia on thursday.

but till now,no news,or any phone call came in from her.

at first tak pk macam2.tot that it was a normal thing la.

maybe flight delayed,some small,small problem in mind.

tapi..it's monday now. 1 week gone already and she hasn't return?

there's must be something wrong.

i dont have a good feeling on this.

praying,hoping she'l be safe.

*ya Allah lindungilah ibuku dari segala kejahatan,

permudahkanlah urusannya,

dan smoga dia dapat kembali dengan selamat dan sejahtera.

amiinn."

mama,kami rindu mama:(

kawan2,please pray for the sake of my mom, please.

it will be a great help.

only god can return your good favour.

layout blog,raya,dan otak lembu??

2009-11-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

salam raya buat semua~

raye tahun ni cam biase je.tak balik kampung pon,isk isk.rindu kat anak2 sedare pulak. the weirdest part is raya without my mom..huh.asal mama tanak balik2 lagi? agak tak terurus jgkla kehidupan,mama takde,amek kau rasekan betape susahnye:( huu.too bad..mak aku ni bejalan sakan sampai tanak balik rumah dah ke?ape2 pon,kami doakan mama slamat sampai.balikk laaa.heheee:P

aku rase dah berpuluh2 kali dah aku dok tuka layout blog aku ni.mmg aku takkan puas hati sampai bila2.nak edit2 amik masa lame.sori to say,aku bukan jenis yg minat buat keje camtu.ahaa.so,decided nak guna plain,lame and simple saja.kasi boring.suke hati aku la. sampai masa aku bosan balik,tuka lah.ape susah?

cuti,cuti dan cuti.ape nak buat masa cuti??plan dalam kepala sikit punye belambak.nak gi sane lah,sini lah,tapi satu pon tak jalan lagi.tu la melayu,janji je lebih.where to go?tak tau.langkawi lah,terangganu lah,bukit tinggi lah,sunway,genting,name the list.sekarang ni tgh tggu conformation dari pihak2 yg pandai menabur janji2 manis dan palsu.ahaha.kesian korang.

oh yes.thanks to abet ye.makan sakan tadi~burrpp.masih kenyang lagi ni. 2012?demm aku tak dapt tgk lagi.cilake btol..takpe2.next time ade.huh.

kereta3.masih menunggu nak dapat kereta.tahun depan ler jawabnyee.tu pon pas kete baru tok abah klua.tak kisah la dapat kete ape.janji leh jalan sudah.jgn fussy,syukur dgn pemberian tuhan yek.

ohh yes.korang penah dengar tak orang makan lidah lembu?gross kan?tapi aku penah cuba.rase takde beza ngan daging lembu.maybe lagi tender kot.hehe.but it's never my fav.aku dah tak mkn lidah lembu dah lepas tau it's actually lidah lembu.selame ni igtkan daging ape.

tapi this time,OTAK LEMBU?.yes.u get me rite.otak lembu. aku igt ade manusia mkn otak haiwan ni tok saje2.otak monyet aku penah tgk org makan.gile brutal sape yg sanggup tu.lagi2 time nak bunuh binatang tu.teramat kejam.haish.

now back to otak lembu. tahukah anda bahawa otak lembu sangat digemari oleh sesetengah orang?paling best masak lemak cili padi otak lembu,otak lembu juga boleh dibuat gulai.uweek. terbayang rupe otak tu skrg.sgtttt la geli. pic tu kat atas,rupe otak lembu yg telah dimasak.aku amik dari blog sape tah.eww.cam sedap??

diharap anda mencuba ye.

esok qurban day. it's gonna be bloody man.ape kate aku tido.:)

England,here i come!

2009-11-21T06:26:00.000-08:00

*last trip,on 2005-2006

muke kanak-kanal lagi.haha

ohhooo.

suke,gembira,happy!

setelah membodek ayahku,akhirnya dia kasik ke England thun depan.

tpi dengan syarat,bawak adik aku.heeehheee..

takpe,tu takde masalah punye.

yang penting dapat ke sane smula.

safwa..~~im coming.

nak book tiket ni.heehee.

seronok2.

harap harap takde aral melintang.

karma?

2009-11-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

*pic ni aku jmpe kat page farday.

comei kete tuh.rugi tak gi aritu.haish.

takpe.next time ade lagi.

muke masing2 nak mkn pelempang kan.aha.

fikiran bercelaru skrg ni.

230 nnti aku ade exam paper yg aku tak confiden.

tu yg mereng gini.

ntah knpe tibe2 jadi tak betul.

tiba2 rase marah,geram,sakit hati yg teramat.

kenapa?aku pon tak tau.

mungkin PMS nak dekat kot.mungkin.haha

aku lapa,perlukan mknn.

rase cam nak mkn orang aje.

demm la kau.

tapi kenapa aku sakit hati dgn kau?

teringat ayat sajak mlm tdi,

ajaib betul tiba kata2 hikmat boleh terpacul keluar.

amende la aku mrepek.

pergila jauh-jauh,nnti lagi sakit.

kerna byk persamaan dgn yg dulu.oke?

cik lepat,anda boleh lakukannya.

jom layan keane-'everybody's changing'.

sabar lepat,sabar.

i believe in karma.

bengong la line ni.aku nak letak pic la,pon ssh ke?

'bukan mengharap pada yg tak sudi,tapi jawapan masih belum pasti. ingin sekali pergi jauh membawa diri,tapi hati belum berani.jika kata2 menjadi taruhan apakan daya jiwa digadai. setiap harapan wanita ini bermakna,bukan sia2.titisan air mata ini bukan tiada nilainya,sedarlah,ianya berharga.'

mari bersajak.

2009-11-18T07:43:00.001-08:00

hasil nukilan azyan azilah,ainu shazwani,mal hasanudin dan ramzi malek ketika kami hilang akal tatkala berkomen difacebook.

Ainu Shazwani

hahaha.mal2

yan: bukan bintang yg ku pinta,tapi sinar rembulan yg bercahaya.ewah.

37 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

kalo begitu,maka cerahlah malam ini dengan sinar rembulan yang menerangi malam? jadi,ke manakah pergi hembusan bayu yang menemani diri ini? aice.

36 minutes ago · Delete

Ramdzi Malek

nk tlg ayat jiran ke ayat anak jiran? klu jiran tu de anak pmpn yg cantik, bleh je aku tlg ayatkan.. hahahaha..

34 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

anak pompuan die tak lawa.wahaha.suke2 aku je

31 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

yan:
hembusan bayu layu dikala tiada sinar rembulan bercahaya,
arus-arus kehampaan mula menusuk jiwa.
kemana kah kau wahai bulan?
ha.balas.

30 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

bulan pergi membawa diri,kerna tiada sinaran matahari lagi. bulan pilu berduka lara,kerna itu cahaya membuatkan manusia berduka. maka menitisla air mata sayu dari hati lara seorang wanita.

ha,ko balas.

26 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

mengapa harus kau pergi wahai bulan?
rapuh hatinya,longlai gerak tubuh manusia tatkala kau pergi meninggalkan alam fana.hembusan nafas kian terhenti,sejak kau pergi.
wanita itu mengharap seribu makna,lara menanggung derita.

ha.bals pulak.best ni.haha

22 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

kita tgh mental ni.

bergantung hidup bulan pada matahari. bila dia pergi,bulan pun membwa hati. harapan wanita tiada penghujung. mengapa mengharap pada yang tak sudi? mengapa menanti yang tak ke mari? lap la air mata mu wanita. tabahkan diri,kuatkan jiwa.

19 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

terbaik ni yan.i like.haha

bukan mengharap pada yg tak sudi,tapi jawapan masih belum pasti. ingin sekali pergi jauh membawa diri,tapi hati belum berani.jika kata2 menjadi taruhan apakan daya jiwa digadai. setiap harapan wanita ini bermakna,bukan sia2.titisan air mata ini bukan tiada nilainya,sedarlah,ianya berharga.

14 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

siyez kite demam.

harapan wanita bukan sia-sia,tapi gadaikan segala untuk apa? untuk sesuatu yang hanya hadir dalam mimpi? kalau itu jadi taruhan,maka mari melangkah ke hadapan. cuba hulurkan tangan,gapai impian. mungkin terjadi sesuatu yang tak termimpi?

10 minutes ago · Delete

Ramdzi Malek

wahai cik adik manis..
bukak hati n bukak mata..
xyah le nak menangis..
abang kn ada.. hahaha...

psst : kre pntun le ni.. hahahaha

9 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

ramdzi : pantun abang gatal. nice. mcm mat bangla jual kapet pun ada. "cik adik manis~~"

7 minutes ago · Delete

Mal Hasanudin

hai bulan yg indah menawan..hadirmu menerangi kegelapan..apakan daya kau jauh nun di awan..terasa kerdil tidak kesampaian..tlglah langit tlg angin..smpaikan rsa hatiku kepadanya..tanyakan dia apa yg kepingin..aku ku tunai seribu daya..

6 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

berfikir sebelum bertindak.tidakkah bodoh mgadai segalanya hanya untuk sebuah mimpi yg tak pasti? langkah mesti diteruskan,bukan mimpi yang jadi idaman. alam fana cuma mainan, baliklah ke bumi nyata.

4 minutes ago · Delete

Azyan Azilah

memang bodoh. haha tak de idea. nak terkencing je skunk ni. hahahaha

4 minutes ago · Delete

Ainu Shazwani

ramzi:hahha.kan dah kena ayat bangla.hahahaha

mal:mane ko copy ni weh???tak pcye aku..bhahaha

yan:hahahah.paling best ar,nak gelak aku.

2 seconds ago · Delete